Blah blah blah ...

1) Ever since childhood I have had stage fright. In LKG, I was dressed up as Lord Krishna. I was ok with that. I looked ever the charmer (I don’t want those ‘charmer? You?’, just read on). Atleast I did to my Mom, dad and sis. And So I went on stage and instead of pretending to play flute and smile a lot so I could look cuute(r), I started to cry. Yes right in the middle of the stage in front of so many kids, their bored siblings (mummy!! I am bored lets go..), over enthu parents(ohh my daughter is gonna do so much better than Mrs.Kanthama’s) and their relatives who were dragged to see this by being told its the greatest show on earth (after America's got talent). And thus I was politely dragged off the stage. And things didn’t change when years later I was made to read the news in front of the assembly. I hated this. I so wanted to bunk the school that day. But I realised that I wouldn’t be spared, today, tomorrow or the day after I was going to be the sacrificial goat. No escaping death and humiliation. So I braved up and though I was sounding pretty good in my head (which I always do) was totally fucked up when I stood in front of my fellow school-mates. Seniors too bored and juniors too excited. And I stuttered worse then Mr. K..K..K..Khan. And that she would be watching me from her band set troupe at the back didn’t help matters. And sweating crazily I blabbered some news which didn't matter to anyone in anyway and I ran back to the assembly line. I wanted to disappear from planet earth. :(

2) May be my previous wish has come true. Because here in my neighbouring house there lives a family who is always dressed up in blue. The shades vary but whenever I see them they are in blue. I love blue, the sky, the water and the movies ;) But seriously they are over doing it. And I wouldn't be pissed this much but even their dresses are the same. The 2 little gals (not twins) and their mom parade in front of my house in blue salwar every (f*cking) evening. So as I had wished, I think I have landed up in Pandora and am living next to a bunch of Na'vi s (from the movie avatar) who mate through their hair genitals.
On the other side of my house lives a family who is not from Pandora but who I guess feel like what Americans must have felt after 9/11.They are forever locked up in a cage(gate cum mesh to prevent theft).They go out and lock the cage. They come back and lock the cage again. They live in a sense of Paranoia. Well those apart, the daughter who is around my age is quite pretty. So they are ok! :D

3) Sometimes I feel am damn SURE my life is fucked up. I got NO future..
Other times I feel am the BEST thing ever. And that I am AWESUMM! And I CAN do anything. Am damn SURE of it.
Wait!
Confusion!! (happens to me a lot)
Damn it!
I can't choose a state of mind. Or a thought process. I suck at choosing.
When friends give me a choice between going to two places to hangout I usually say "'anywhere' am ready..lets do it, yoohooo!!"
When they ask me what to eat? I say "anything will do"
The real reason for this will be revealed later. But when they pester me to choose I just say either of the two.
"Hey am not hungry.. anything will do."
"Lo am hungry just order something good!"
For other things, like when asked to choose between coffee or tea, between 2 women(has never happened) I usually say both! ;)

4) Though I am pretty ok mentally that is if you ignore me getting confused, physically there are some problems.
I got no taste buds. Whenever we eat out, my friends start commenting about how good or bad the food is. I can't really tell unless it’s absolutely disgusting. So I get these remarks a lot..
>>> Friend tastes the thing and makes a face (like he is about to take a dump) and says disgustingly. 'How the heck are you eating this?' I just shake my head and mumble something.. inaudible <<Others are plain sweet and gobble things up along and don't comment. But I can tell by how much they are eating that they don’t like it one bit. But I as always will be filling my mouth as if it’s a cement mixer. Yeah cement gravel and sand. I can't tell.:|

5) Thats it for now. :)