Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Arbit thoughts

A) halo!( That's a very lovely greeting by the way.Abhinav alias sabi introduced that..supposed to be very romantic and all you pretty gals reading this..get the point!)

B) Girls are like twitter.Not because you can 'follow' and 'tweet' them (I am such a pervert,really!) but because the twitter server acts just like the gal you are hitting on.For example:

C)Remember those days when you used to avoid studying or doing homework because there was a powercut and how your parents used to say 'Visveshwaraya' (or some other brainy guy) studied under the street lights,if you have interest you can do anything. Well that was long time back, he didn't have distractions like now..I mean even on street light....Sigh!

Btw that is Mallika Sherawat in HISSS

D) 10 months down the lane and I still don't get it.
In school it was called copying or more derogatorily ‘cheating’ when you wrote down what your neighbor wrote in the exam because you had no f-ing idea what to write yourself.
But in the corporate world its called “implementing the best practices”.This happens when your boss has no idea how to cope with an issue and just rips off what is being practiced by another team which is working on similar issues.

E)But still we are very 'kind' people.I mean we kindly use the word kind so many kindly fucking times.

Kindly do the needful.
Kindly revert back
Kindly follow the process fo blah blah.
Kindly call back.
Kindly regret the inconvenience caused(yeah happened,though not intentional)

F) Changing tracks to politics,
Pakistan is a failed state really.The military is ruling and looting that nation. Whereas ours is a true democracy, not just the army everyone gets a piece of the pie


G) Currently one of my friend has put up a really weird profile photo in Facebook.Its actually not even a picture.Completely black window.That's it.

Now this is kind of weird really.Imagine Facebook was the real world and profile pictures are what you see of each other when you meet them.So if you were to meet this guy in particular it would be like,well, a guy in Burqa.

Yes! A guy in Burqa.Well the conversations would probably be like the comments he got for that.(Copying the comments directly.No offense to any one really)

ConcernedFriend1 ‎.............................???? :-/

Black Photo guy ‎@ConcernedFriend1 : hehehehe

ConcernedFriend1 what do U wanna convey dude.........??

Concerned Gal he he!!! wats the matter!!! :)

Black Photo guy ‎@Friend1 : ntng to convey mate
@Concerned Gal : well heheheheh nice no

(ya right! it would be 'nice' if it were in a fancy dress competition back when you were in 1st grade)

Concerned Gal ya... creative!!! keep it white... no sad sad!!!

Black Photo guy hahahahah well will change it after a few days

Nocreativitysense friend super... profile pic man :) most creative1 indeed..

(thinks Concerned gal is totally wrong and finds a black picture instead of happy white as most creative.indeed.)
Black Photo guy‎@Nocreativitysense friend : thnxx bro

Ilikeanythingdifferentgal fantastic....!!!

(Fantastically stupid)
Black Photo guy
‎@Ilikeanythingdifferentgal : thnxxx:)

(feels so good about himself after hearing a compliment about his burqa avatar.Blushes a lot,but behind the burqa ofcourse!)

Smartgal hmmm... makes so much sense lo.... wr did u get this from Black Photo guy? i cant believe d things it s depicting.... a true marvel....

Black Photo guy ‎@Smartgal : its just a dumb black picture :)

Smartgal cant believe u din get d sarcasm Black Photo guy... :P

Black Photo guy ‎@Smartgal : well nt in such a great mood ya .. so i think i overlooked it
(Thanks the gods for getting an excuse to finally express the actual feeling and reason for wearing burqa)
Smartgal ayo... wats wrong?

Black Photo guy ‎@Smartgal come on chat(Read as 'come to our adda')

Funnyguy Nice pic dude.. U r looking nice, hot, sexy & handsome here in tis pic!

(He means something like this)

Funnyguy ‎:p

Dumbgal Wats this...............??? (

Funnyguy Black Photo guy`s pic

Black Photo guy ‎@Dumbgal : its a pic
@Funnyguy : heheheh funny

H) Same guy had a status update on Facebook some time back that read "LEAVE ME ALONE"
Yes leave me alone!
Seriously having such status message is like

1) Rakhi Sawanth giving Justice in bikini.
2) Terrorist in his traditional Afghani attire with a long beard and turban with an AK47 in one hand and a bomb in another, getting the directions and talking in a faint voice about the top secret mission into the microphone hidden somewhere in between his hairy face in Times Square.
3) "champagne" and other such one word status updates with a hidden lame meaning put up by girls to make guys wonder.

yes,its all pure ATTENTION SEEKING!!

I)am really really bored and the Black photo guy is really a nice fellow.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

in past tense

I AM BACCCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh! That's Vidya Balan's back...sorry....nevermind ...mmmm.

1)First of all does any one still read blogs or should it be, does anyone still blog?

2) Ok for those who do read ,this is me on a comeback post and I would loveee some " Baaand Baaja" ( Band baaja baraath music is playing in the background ) for that.Songs in that movie seem fresh and hip so that's the reason am listening to it and NOT at all because 90% of my friends these days are talking about the M word. MARRIAGE.

3) Everyone of us normal souls who did not live in the 'FRIENDS' and 'HIMYM' sitcoms usually have 2,3 gangs right? Like oldest strongest gang, then the casual ones,the college gang, the work place gang etc.So I was saying wherever and whichever gang I meet these days somehow end up with the topic of marriage.Marriage of their sisters(and all the responsibilities), marriage of their friends,marriage of their girlfriend/boyfriend(with someone else.papa) and last but not the least their own marriage(ex: Sabi). And today being Children's Day it feels even more sad because you want to be kid while your friends want kids.SAD SAD SAD .MUMMYYYY :'(((

4) Moving on I recently saw the gr8 Thalaivar on the BIG SCREEN.Yup for the 1st time in 21 years of my life I watched a RAJNI's movie "ROBOT" in theater.Rajni is legendary, proof of it is the endless SMS jokes that land up in your inbox more than anything else that you would rather expect.So here I was on the 3rd week after release standing in a long Que for tickets to balcony seats.Soon we realized the balcony seats were sold out and the Que was for the next show.RAJNI MANIA DAMN YOU!!.So with no other choice we stood and got a 2nd class tickets and entered the dark hall(not hole).It was a crazy experience I tell you. Having ended up with a seat in 3rd row from the screen and having Rajni practically jumping out on every damn corner of the huge F$$kin screen.Thank god Shankar did not go for 3D.I had stretch marks on my skin and endured labour pains later.What added to my pain was Aishwarya Rai Bachchan.

5) I seriously think Aish has done a great job.I mean it, must be tough working with RAJNIKANTH and that to when he is in double avatar and who is accompanied by hundreds of lookalike 'soldiers'.But she is quite natural in few scenes especially when she is supposed to look dumb!!
Check her expressions in the below video and ignore the hundred odd spinning rajni heads if you can.

6) Her next movie is already in the news, opposite Hrithik. Hrithik plays a cross between a damn good looking P.C Sorcar( preferably in western clothing and not the ones stolen from the AIR INDIA mascot, the MAHARAJA) and Stephen hawking in Sanjay Leela Bansali's next titled Guzarish. Pretty tough job to act like that but he had it easy in this particular song sequence..

I mean any guy would make such faces, expressions and cry after a WTF performance like that :P

7) If Ash ever happens to check this blog(ya right!!) she would be feeling just like you and me.
Even she would be wondering ….. 'WHY ME DUDE!???'

8) Of late having lots of encounters with the mama.Not preetham(he is a buzy man), Mama as in the police.Having been made to pay fines for 'pettycasss' and other such SERIOUS offense I have come to conclude Mysore is THE SAFEST PLACE on PLANET EARTH.FBI better suck up if they have to match the Mysore police!!(More on that when we meet personally can't share it on a public platform...they can be watching over this...shhh)

9)But still I do respect the ‘INDIAN LEGAL SYSTEM’ and if you are one of those who don’t well... there is RAKHI SAWANTH!! She is the JUDGE(sans the robe... she might wear a revealing one you know) in a new Reality(STFU already!!) show called RAKHI KA INSAAF.

As if 'Yahan main ghar ghar kheli',' Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya Hi Kijo','Gunaaon ke devta' and other such scary sounding saas bahus weren’t enough !! ( YUP, A LOT OF PAINFUL RESEARCH WENT INTO GETTING THOSE NAMES )

10) Read a book meant for 9 years old.Enjoyed it :D

11) Some of my 'oh so saintly' friends hate smoking and drinking and make baby faces and act like little kids to get the 'cuteness' meter high.All this when they happen to be in a pub/disc.Come on don't you realize you are at the wrong place.I mean what are bedrooms,bathrooms,street corners,school annual days and Dance India Dance for if all you wanted to do was just dance and nothing else.?

12) Apparently in corporate culture an SMS to your Team leader sent as an excuse for an extra long break which went something like this: "Vehcle punctrd, wil b late'
is not right.The TL replied: "AM.NOT.YOUR.FRIEND.TO.WHOM.YOU.SEND.such.SMSes.THIS.IS.NOT.AT.ALL.ACCEPTABLE!!"(am just giving the jist of it all and I still haven't figured out the reason behind so many fullstops.Thought would reply back asking the reason but then let it go :P )

13) Today is Children's day and I wish you all oldies a very happy Children's day.And so today am not gonna be 21 points long, I'll end at the beginning of the teenage.. 13!

Thursday, June 10, 2010


I Feel shitty in my own shack
So I go sit on the railway track
I see at far the tracks meet
I believe its not a mirage or trick
I see them meet at a distance
until I walk along to realize..

I want to say without saying
I want a smile everlasting
I want to cry myself dry
Sin I did will make me fry
I want to thank a meaningful
to have seen someone so beautiful..

Varied thoughts buzz around the hive
As my mind zips on an insane drive
So in deep blue I let out my last bubble
Smiling shittily I fade,coz its the end of struggle..

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


1) A mother whining that her son will lose 'one whole year' because of the new rule which states that the child should be a minimum of 5 years to get admission into 1st standard.Her son happens to be 4 years old. WTF is wrong with people??

2) Salman Khan in a detergent ad where he runs behind a lady then takes a towel/pallu rubs it in between his legs( in his trademark step) then throws it towards the camera saying "iss mein he nimboo ki shakti aur hazaroon phoolon ki kushboo". Sigh!

3) Office on a sunday.ARGHAAAAAAAAA!!

4) Lightning,thunder,wind, baarish... :)

5) Watch the smoke rise under the moonlit,chilly night as your throat warms to hot whiskey.

6) Get bitten by a bloody mosquito when experiencing the above and falling back to reality ;)

7) Some people smile when asleep

8) That too when NOT having a 'dirty dream'.

9) The urinal in the office restroom is so sensitive it flushes at the slightest movement and it sprays.Its hard work to pee and not look as if you peed on yourself like in school.

10) Police and moral police are a pain in the ass.Especially when you are not a criminal or immoral.

11) Its been more than 2 months that I updated this blog.That's because I was very busy with work.

12) Surprisingly I have had some of the best days of my life in these 2 months.And all of it happened out of the office. :D

13) Sleeping because I need to.Not because I can,want to or just felt like it. :(

14) Eating because I need to.Not because I can,want to or just felt like it. :(

15) >>> Censored <<< because I can,want to or just felt like it.Not because I need to. ;)

16) Guess the word which is censored.

17) Yeah you win no special prizes for it.

18) Previous 2 lines were just to fill up the count upto 21.And I know you are like WATVER dude!

19) I have just watched 3 movies and read 2 books in the last 3 months.But again I don't feel like rushing to the theater or to get a DVD,buy a book or Hang out with friends after 12 hours of getting screwed in office.I hardly do much these days.Am like a uncle who goes to office early morning and returns in the evening.And is too tired after that to move his ass from the couch.I sometimes feel am a really very boring guy these days.

20) My friends who agree with the above point.FUCK YOU!!!!! :P

21) Peace! :)

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Kya ba, Kya karto?

Ok for those who did not know, am out of home( finally!!) Yeah they took me out of my room finally after months and then put me in a AC room(which is pretty sadistic and wants to freeze me to death) and show endless PPTs ( well some were really v.v.good.SERIOUSLY).
So again I learnt quite a few stuff ( Am quite a learner eh? )

1) To be Prof-ae-ssional. (Yes that’s how our trainer spells it). :P
2) They tell you it’s just like a family. But they will check your bags, won’t allow you into every other floor. For security reasons they say, well whatever happened to being a family I wonder? Confusing really. Sigh.
3) You should learn all the languages. It really helps in pataoing chiks.( you can be the knight in the shining armour or formal clothing in this case who helps the pretty gal from a distant land) Unlucky guys like me who are lingually challenged or limited to 3 languages lose out in the wild competition. SAD.
4) People still think am silent and that I don’t talk much. And the irony is I am the one who introduced, initiated a conversation, smiled and nodded. What do they expect? Speech??
5) Some people are awesome.
6) Some are jerks.
7) I knew that already. But the AC drove the point deep inside my head. :P
8) There is a torture room without any windows or fresh air. The stale air was suffocating. My batch was allotted that room for training. Am so fucked. Damn it!
9) **Dozed off***
10) I am addicted to caffeine.But even that doesn’t control the sleep sometimes :D
11) HRs are so totally coool…till they lose their cool i.e and then they cut the PPT short and storm-out. :P
12) The HR head says ours is the worst batch in his 20 odd years of career. Its just like in college and school where all the lecturers used to tell the same thing. I feel young again after all the ‘growing ups’:P
13) There is 1 guy whose face forever looks lik this :[ but the moment a senior approaches it turns into :D. I tried to J, :P but all were returned with the same :[ look. I didn’t try ;) though, will do next time. Optimistic :P
14) N/Ws + routers + switches + etc=orgasm.
15) Playing BINGO.
16) Somethings don’t change. I’m still the lord of the last bench.Once me and my friend Guru(not from the movie,but I do sing guru bhai guru bhai aya che aay aaya guru bhai upon his arrival) tried sitting somewhere in the middle of the training room.So we came and took our seats about 10 mins before the sessions.But 5 mins into the sessions we realized we were in the last again. I still haven’t figured how that happened.
17) Was previous point was too long?
18) New beginning,new things, new excitement,new people, new place, new underwear :D
19) Got my Dog tag feel like wagging my tail and barking woof woof and howling into the night.
20) The previous point is to be read as : I got my ID card and am pretty excited seeing and wearing it and wanna yell yoohooo.
21) Now that am thinking of pay and stuff,should I start reading Dilbert soon?

P.S The title means 'wasap dude what doing?' new lingo.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

21 Things I have learnt

1) Patience. I can wait for anything now. Even the gal of my dreams. :P

2) Girls are really mean, its a gang mentality I tell you because when they are alone they are sweet and nice but when together (more than 1 gal) they are like Spartans...MADNESS!! Beware! After reading this they will go..

3) Shopping is a pain in the ass. Only Girls and Abhinav would jump in joy and rush to it when they see a 40% OFF sale board.

4) The uber cool sexy music playing in the background and people going wow at the sight of me was just my imagination!

5) Its tough to explain to people that I am not gay but I am more of a lesbian. I love women! :P

6) I am awesome.
(well felt so atleast till yesterday night)

7) There can be chats like this.

Me: Wasap
sabi: nothing much.
Me: k what doin?
Sabi: nothing much lo.
Me: hmm k so wat else?
Sabi: nothing..
Sabi: so what r u doin?
Me: @#$%^&&* nothing much

8) Some people don't get sarcasm.

He: you are so gay dude :P
He: oh me too..
Me: ***facepalm**

9) I use the word 'ante' a lot. (ante- roughly means 'itseems' in kannada) and I get irritated each time I use it. But I keep using it.

10) From the above points I learnt that am Awesome, boring and really very weird.

11) Except the awesomeness part other two will screw my chance of having a gal ever!

12) I can watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S over and over again till the day I die and never get bored. It’s AWESOME!

13) Best seasons are monsoon and winter i.e. other than ALL THE SEASONS OF FRIENDS.

14) I don't understand the point of all the 'mantras'/ 'bhajans' that are played in the background along with dramatic music in all those silly scenes in painful tele serials on tv.
Evil villain-ness with a serpentine bindi enters the room, the goody good housewife who is forever dressed up like a bride, but is washing the dishes have a faceoff. And we are made to listen to 'om mangalam no need to managalam( wrong mantra I know.. well so are theirs) as the faces of both women flashes alternatively a 1000 times. YAWN!

15) Though the above point may make you think otherwise, I really don't watch serials. Last time I watched 'Rakhi ka swayamwar'. I realized that I was the only one among my friends to do so. Should add that to my resume as one of the CRAZIEST THING I EVER DID!

16) Some times people don't get my jokes. Sometimes when I am serious people think am infact 'cracking' a joke. Sigh.

17) Sometimes when I try to spook my sister by coming behind her in you know my 'stealth-mode-super quite-sneakily-quick' way but the crackling sound of my bones give me away. They sound as if I have a anklet around my leg. Am so noisy I fail. :( I hope its not a medical problem. Some guys are mirror-cracking material. Am well a BONE- CRACKING MATERIAL!! AWESUM **wink**

18) With all the creams that make you fairer and drinks what make u taller or longer and brighter and the detergents which make cloths 'zyada safedi'. We will all end up like a big glowing Zoozoo very soon.(or something bright and long..DON'T USE THAT DIRTY MIND OF YOURS )

19) To believe

20) >> ok I thought I learnt a lot in these 7 months.....what were the other two?? **scratches chin, head then someplace down in between le...ok I forgot! <<

I will be 21 soon...

Thursday, February 25, 2010


Some days back I took a Facebook " Know your Luck and Future" and the 'prediction’ was;

“Ram honey, you'll find romance blossoming . whether it's a renewed sense of commitment to the one you've been with for a while or a new person breezing into your life. The real story is located right in the center of your heart.''

I actually take this daily because
1) Am pretty jobless
2) Anita (who apparently tells these prediction) calls me 'sweety', honey', 'dear'. That feels great. (I know am such a LOSER)

And two ladies leave a comment,one about weather I understood what Anita meant and other feels that am pretty dumb when it comes to gals and I wont get it.



Now everyone keeps telling me to get a GF.
I mean I could, are they available in that corner store? Yes I am that lazy. Its hard work really. And I am no Hrithik when it comes to anatomy so I don't attract girls like even a puppy could (but I also feel I am..*tilts head, wags tail(??)* bow bow bow..SEE! very cute)
So going around searching is bit of hard work. And being coaxed by friends who are themselves SINGLE is like a joke!!

Apart from the obvious above reason my rather big nose which sometimes blocks my view when am half way through checking out a female structure and which has huge reserves of oil making it shiny like a brand new car doesn't really attract women. (and pimples popping up ruins the effect completely. DARN)

I some times feel all the ladies even half a km away is staring at me (I don't know exactly how many, nose blocks a few).Until I realized it was ONLY literally true because when they come nearer they just fail to notice me. Helooo!? that was rude! You were staring me a few hundred meters back. I SAW YOU DOING IT!! CHEATER!!

Other times I feel like the really smart and funny guy (which I am really) like in movies who cracks a joke and women are swooning and falling all over him(but again, hasn't happened so far. Damn those misleading Movies)

Only time I did got close to someone was with her the other day. We were just chit chatting some random stuff and I was curling my fingers around hers and was cracking awesome jokes and she was giggling away like.. well.. like she does.. I mean it’s pretty unique in a beautiful way. And suddenly out of the blue she just jumps on me and lands a deep passionate kiss. It was awesome!!!!! Yes it happened. Am not lying. Such a realistic dream I tell you. Sigh.

And lastly I am supposed to be this really nice, sweet guy. You might think that’s cool but seriously, trust me you don't want to be that. We are to gals what Dinosaurs are for people. Everyone likes us and goes wow at us but only when we are dead. Don't be fooled by cho chweet,cho cutee...soo nice of u...sweet ..You will get fucked but never get a chance to fuck.

So the only one I love is Deepika.

The following conversation with my friend (the bastard hits on his bhabhi) will prove you how much I lover her.

sabi: hw's alien v/s predators??

ramprakash: 1st one?
its super
2nd okey

sabi: i guess 1st 1 nly

ramprakash: ya its gud

sabi: a v/s p requiem anthe
wts tat??
1st or 2nd??

ramprakash: avp 2 is 2nd
avp is 1st

sabi: nin pinda
wen did avp 2 come??
k de 1 I tol is avp2
i want avp1

ramprakash: and i want both a and p to eat u!!
deepu is minee!!!!


P.S: If you thought this was funny then that smile on your face made writing this worthwhile. And by chance if you had always thought of me as a GOOD BOY and now realized that I am after all a jackass.