Friday, June 20, 2008

Sporting Action!!!

I suck at sports!!
Not now, because now I hardly play any sports( that’s a lie, I play Solitaire).
Well in school we had a Big playground outside the Gate ( We still believe that place is Encroached by the school mangement. :P).And in that we could play Volleyball, throwball, basketball, Football, Badminton(ocassionally).Yeah Cricket was Banned!!
Anyways we loved what we had. And we loved Volleyball. It had no star attraction to it. I don't even know if India has a National Volleyball Team and if they had a Volleyball World cup, yet, it was a craze.
Apart from the Game Periods, we used to bunk Yoga classes of our beloved Venki(sir),Computer class where they though us C (Huh? I don't even remember, never mind) and gobbling up the lunch in 5 minutes and rushing to the Band set Room(yeah they kept the balls there) and fishing out the best ball( tested by bouncing it, stylishly in front of girls acting like a Star Player).
And then jumping over the concrete compound wall(to avoid the long route through the Gate) beside which was the Volleyball court!!Splitting the class into 2 teams we use to play it everyday.
Bendu the tall guy was MOST PREFERRED PLAYER, as he saved the others from the ball as he used to send the ball into opposite court in almost any angle from any place inside the court. And my contribution usually ended when I ate my lunch quickly and got the Ball before the pestering juniors or the Bully seniors. Serving the ball I could hardly make it cross our own court and on rare occasion in which it did cross, it always used to land 'outside' the line and not to forget the stepping on line Fouls. Other times when the Ball is coming from the opposite side it usually landed where I didn't want it to, like on my head, face(that hurts),chest or on the ground, 'Inside'.
The KJo's of our class Nari and 'Sunny the Dumma' did the best thing 'Cheer and Jeer'( I always ended up with them, 5 minutes into the game).
Volleyball was predominated my Guys. And Girls well they loved Throw ball. Throwing and Catching the ball is easy, I thought. But playing with 'State Champion' Girls who used to spin and Smash the damn ball, it was tough. 'Can't we just play catch-catch' never reached their ears as they twisted their arms and palms to spin the ball and smash and it usually resulted in the twist of the arm or wrists of the one catching it. Looking stupid in front of girls was not on the Top of the Agenda. And Nari believed it was better fun, watching girls play with balls!
Then there was Basketball, 'why the hell is the damn Basket so high up in the air??' and yours truly for 'apparent' reasons didn't much like the game and preferred staying away.
Last but not the least was Football, and our Juniors were more into it (and which never goes well with any seniors) and we used to challenge them. We seniors v/s the juniors. Honestly, they were good, with all the practice and coaching and not to forget their studs. But we didn't give up. Game on!! Sabi the captain of our team and lead to many successful DRAWS!!
Me and Nari were made the Defenders(Sunny was made Goalkeeper, size matters ;)and it was fun, no need to run just stand around goal post, tying the shoelace repeatedly and gossiping). And we somehow managed to save a lot of goals by kicking madly at the ball and sometimes at the opposition’s leg.

Before balls came into our life we only had trees. And 'Tree to tree' was the game. Majority of our class was good at it. But sadly, it wasn't declared a 'SPORT'!!!

Afterthought:

Mama would be usually found at the Throw ball court checking 'her' out and plucking the petals of flower muttering, 'I love her'.. 'She loves me not'...'I love her'...'she loves me not'...Damn!!! :D
Sheki used to stand in the Volleyball court, but he thought it was Football so he always used to 'kick' the ball into the Net!! :)
Amari preferred throwing stones on a abandoned building a 100 meters away, and scaring off the Owls inside. :P
Moruu(Moran's new cuter version ;)) would usually be strangling me or Amari after being laughed at for not making any contact with any ball in any game. :(
Congo and SwapuJi played chess in Volleyball court. :|

P.S : How many of you are watchin Euro at 12 in the night, betting on teams with players whose name you can't spell and losing it?Just me??Heck! I suck Big Time!!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

No Dream, no Gain

The wind in his face,blowing through his hairs, wooosh... came the sound of the rushing air,he closed his eyes feeling the cool wind blowing from the sea.20 feet below, some 20 odd beautiful girls were tanning themselves in beautiful short dresses around the deep blue water.The pool added to the richness of his huge Villa by the sea side.He had named it PiX Villa. Nested among the tall coconut trees near the white sand beach of Goa, he was proud of his home. To own a piece of land in such a prime location along with a private Beach all for himself at the tender age of 25, he had made it big.Even the Mallya's and the Ambani's looked up at him.And it wasn't just them.The girls of all size,shape and age swarmed around him like honey bee's.And ofcourse he called them Honey too.He had all he could ask for in life. A dozen Cars, with two Rolls Royce, a sexy red Ferrari, his power statement The Hummer, everything a teenage guy would love to have a glance at,he owned it.
Fifty personal attendents taking care of everything from organising important buisness meetings to cutting his nails.
And the 20 girls to look after his other desires.
Standing on the Jump board which looking upon his huge villa and his beach he looked down on the girls, some cheering him on, others blowing kisses,jestering seductively with their fingers,"Come to me". He just smiled and breathing in the cool air and giving them a thumps up, he jumped. Feeling more and more air particle rubbing past him as he fell free under gravitation down into his swiming pool.
The girls were a blurr, so was his Villa,all he could see was the water,deep blue water.
And then,

THUD!!!!!!!!!

"AAh" he almost yelled !!!It wasn't a Splash that he had expected.
At 19, he still fell off his bed at nights, as was evident as his mother came rushing from her room, "Dreaming again huh?? Are you alright??" she asked.
And she helped him haul himself up from the floor and left, forcefull controlling her laughter.
"Damn MTV,Damn Splitsvilla,CRap,CRap" he muttered silently and well not to forget "Aah!! My Ass!!"

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

over a cup of Coffee

She saw smiling faces inside it.They had no worries, even if they did, they didn't wear it on their faces. They were dressed in beautiful dresses she had never touched.
She placed her palms on both sides on the glass wall and peered in to have a better look and watched them sipping their coffees and drinks in various color, in glasses of different shapes. Their butts placed comfortably on the cushions in the Coffee shop chilled with AC.
They were all happy, giggling and laughing.May be they didn't have much to care about other than the rising fuel prices which made their long drives on their Cars and Bikes lesser. She always dreamt of doing that. Even she wanted to sit behind or with a handsome guy and be off together on long drives on those beautiful highways. She wanted to have a whole big springy double bed for herself. Even she wanted to taste those 'heart shaped Coffees'.

She didn't know if she would. She didn't know why she wouldn't.
She didn't know when she would wear those comfortable Denims and sit cross legged on those bean bags coolly in AC. She didn't know why she was wearing ragged and torn dress, why she had to sleep on the hard and cold floor every night, she didn't know why she had to sit on that hard metal bar as her father pedaled hard.
Her mother got up and prayed to the very same Gods every morning like their mothers. Her father toiled just as hard at the construction site may be harder than their fathers.Her parents also voted for the very same Political parties.
Yet she knew none to blame for the divide that the Glass wall had created between her and them.
But they sat their and blamed the pollution for a couple of tiny pimples on their smooth skin. They blamed the politician whom they voted, for the bad roads and traffic which made them late.

Their life was a Contradiction to hers.
Their beautiful hairs which seemed to curl and straighten at will and their skin all fair and lovely, those cool flashy watches on their wrists. The cups of Cold and Hot Coffees on the table and the rings of smokes they just blew carelessly. She wondered when she would be that carefree, when she would long for a 'weekend' with her friends, when she would giggle with other girls, when she would look into eyes of the guy in front of her and smile seductively.

Back to reality on the dirty footpath as her warm breath fogged the glass,just like the dark clouds that started covering the bright blue sky.Tenderly she rubbed it clean she saw some of them looking back at her . Little shaken by the sudden attention she gingerly stepped back. And was greeted by the cool breeze which spoiled her hair even more but she smiled ear to ear and strecthed out her arms feeling the cool breeze which soon was accompanied by drops of Mansoon rain and she felt the cold drops on her warm dark skin , smiling she ran and danced in the drizzle, away from the glass wall, she didn't care anymore she loved the freedom and the nature.

As for them,wonderstruck they just looked at her running happily,wondering why they couldn't do what she just did. It wasn't the glass wall in their way but their oversized ego.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Why I'm not the next Indian Idol or anything of that sort!!

It was like being in the Akbar’s court which was flanked by the Navaratnas or 9 talented smart people(was it Akbar or Shah Jahan?? I’m not sure,I'm bad at these).
Imagine what could be going through a guy with no such talents in the midst of all those great people. That’s exactly how I was feeling sitting in there in my living room( I wanted to leave that place) with my Uncles, Aunts and Cousins.
It was the last day of their stay and the young ones are expected to entertain everyone by showcasing their talents( I don’t know if it happens in every house, if there is any chance of that happening, all losers like me, STAY AWAY)
So began the Talent Night, at 11:30 PM.
1st up a dance by my 11 year old cousin, who happened to be learning Bharatnatyam for the past 8 months and her mother tapped the Taala and she batted her eye lids and her feet moving hard and quick and the chan....chan..chan chan (not as in Jackie Chan)sound of her Gungroos that too at 11.45in the night she was starting to look quite scary just like Soundarya in Aptamitra( Ra raa…ra ra or vidya balan in bhool bhulaiya). Well at least her hairs did look like that.
And as she finished off to thunderous applause, the Karate Kid got ready.
Now I have nothing against Karate, I am fine with HUuuuu and HAaaaa’s (with a scornful face)but when that 13 year old started whining that he won’t do karate alone as it would look stupid, all eyes turned to me. I had to be the guinea pig so that the Karate Kid didn’t look stupid. And so began the ordeal as I stood in the middle of the room surrounded by everyone around the imaginary Ring and the Karate kid launched assaults one after the other.The kicks followed by the punches(while I wondered if needed a Abdomen guard just in case) .It was also tough not to “ROFALOL” or “LOL” when he clenched his fists tightly and shaking his head with a cringed ,twisted and scorned look shrieked “Arhhaaaaiyaaaa”(That’s got to be Piles or is that Bruce Lee style).Things were fine until the Kid decided to show off his latest little ‘gyan’ about Kung Fu. Ahaan kiddo !! That’s not gonna happen!! And I slumped back into my chair much to the disappointment of all.
After the action comes the music and songs.
And so begins the “Sangeeta kacheri” , devotional singing by my two other cousin sisters as they wailed away song after song in different languages. I love music, as in Bollywood music and Akon ;), at least I understand them, but devotional songs and folk songs are a bit too much for me. I can’t make head or tail of anything in devotional song other than the names of gods which popped up every now and then, and folk songs well they are for the folks not me.
I could let down whatever hair I have and do Head banging to ridiculous noise of heavy metal, I could nod my head to the beats of hip hop and say Yo,Yeah, but what was I expected to do for devotional songs and folks?
As everyone just closed their eyes and put on a bright smile as if oozing with spirituality. I just sat there staring at the fan creaking and rotating slowly as if unsure of its purpose on Earth(like you and me) and not knowing what to do closed my eyes and…well….dozed off.
And much much later, after severe elbowing by my sister, I opened my eyes and got a life long supply of “hmph!! Today’s generation, no value for real music, only MTV” look from my father and a “lazy bugger, couldn’t even listen to my daughter singing” look form my uncles and aunts.
As for others they all looked at me just like the way people did when Saurav Ganguly used to get out at cheap scores ,match after match, a disappointed,”Sucker,You’re good for nothing” look.
Well at least I managed to successfully sleep through all that, you Bloody Insomniacs, its 12.40 AM for Dr.Sri Sri Sri.....Sri Ravishankarji's sake!!




Dedicated to all Losers and those of you who were GOOD AT SOMETHING LONG LONG AGO and now fail to lift their Ass off the Computer Chair.
As for those practising even now , STOP insulting the SPIRT OF YOUTH!!
GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!! ;)
PS: Autobiographies suck and Don't mind the post when inviting me to your Bharatnatyam,Karate or Singing Shows.:)
PPS: Are you just as tired as I am of my ‘Disclaimers’, ’Note’ and ‘PS’???????

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

On a hot Saturday night....

It was 1:30 am on a Saturday night.
His parents after a hard days work were in deep sleep. But he was wide awake.
He was sitting in the living room all alone on the couch with his legs crossed and staring at the flickering TV screen. With great difficulty he had tuned the Channel. He was starting to get addicted to this stuff. Though his friends used to regularly watch and talk about it in school, he wasn’t much interested in watching them. But things changed and may be for his own satisfaction or to keep up with his friends even he started watching them.
Slowly but surely he started getting great pleasures watching those Men and women in action. But these days he was more interested in watching just Women ‘play’ among themselves .He just loved it.
And he continued ogling at those two women, without a blink of an eye. And as things started getting ‘hotter’ he took off his shirt in a jiffy and threw it away not taking his eyes off her. She had grabbed his eyes for sometime now.
Her looks were arresting. Her blonde hair, blue eyes were an added bonus compared to what she was doing in front of him. As she arched her back, her eyes looking up and she moaned “AaaHH
And the living room was filled with her moans ‘ mmmaah…aahhh hmph aaa arghaa’ and it became louder each time. As it started getting a bit too much he became panicky and started searching for the remote and finally having found it in the middle of cushions ,he fiddled with it to decrease the volume just in time as the other woman screamed “Yeahhh!!”
They had finished, both were sweaty and tired . Disappointed, he changed the channel and switched off the TV and made his way to his bedroom grabbing his shirt.
Damn!! he cursed to himself. He wanted Maria Sharapova to win the Women’s singles Championship in Wimbeldon this time.

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Chapter 6: The Baavi!

The classroom was located on the 2nd floor of the school building. No big deal you would say. But the staggaring heaight at which it seemed to be for a 8th grade kid can't be described especially if that kid has a fear of height.
Next to the building was real huge well.Nobody knew how deep, they didn't want to find it out either. But it was a really wide well.And it was called by everyone as THE BAAVI!!!
Away from the huddle around Sabi's desk was Landu( Abhinandan).He was just sitting there watching the Code breaking saga which was followed by houls of laughter of Pikku and Amari.
He also saw small drops of sweat forming on Sabi's temple and running down his sideburns.
He also saw Dummi's eyes moisten as she looked from the Code and back to Sabi's eyes.
Only she knew what Samosa meant for only she knew that every weekend she and Sabi would meet at the Agarwals Chat to eat Samosa Kachuri, it was her favourite. She LOVED SAMOSA and only Sabi knew it.
Soon the howling and lughter of his friends started intimidating Sabi and he rushed out of the classroom. He couldn't take it anymore.
Nobody cared except Landu as he followed Sabi out matching his footsteps as he tried to keep pace and he reached the edge of the Balcony of the 2nd floor and peered down.
The old dark well was lined with creepers and the water seemed calm but it wouldn't for long.
Something snapped in his head as he srushed back to the classroom as fast as he could run.Out of breath ,he was hardly audiable as he panted out " Sabi....SAbi...SAbi Baavige harbitta!!!!!!!!!".(Sabi jumped into the well)
It took 3 of the longest seconds of Landu's life before anyone could react.
It was Mama's turn to sweat.Dumma was sure it was Appu's heart beat which he was hearing and not his empty stomach.Pallu's vuhuhahahah vanished for the 1st time in half an hour.Cango and Swappu shook their head in dissapointment, There may not be any class at all that day.Nari gulped staring at nothing in particular,he was blank.Amari seemed to reflect what was on Pikku's mind as he said "I think we should jump too, anyways we are going to be hanged.Its Murder!!!".Pikku wanted to argue their chances, they could go to court and blame it on Mama.They rushed out of the room.
Behind them , Thump, thump thump,thump, Dummi came running and over took Pikku which shocked him and he increased his speed but by then they had reached the end of the Balcony!! And all looked down the well.The well of Death.
All that was left were ripples on the surface of the water.
And all looked back at Dummi who seemed to have collapsed on the floor, her palms covering her face and the drops of tears started trickiling down her eyes and wetted her skirt.
Finally she got up and looked down the well.All that was left was ripples of her beloved.
They couldn't belive what had happened.Why did he do that, how could he??As Pikku and Amari contemplated who would jump in 1st.
Suddenly a hand touched Mama's shoulder and pulled him back.
Eh?? En nodta idira elaru" he asked ( What are you guys looking at?)
And all turned back sharply.It was the same nose, the same eyes, the same face.Sabi's face.
"OH MY GOD! GHOST!!!" shrieked Appu
As Congo and swappu started contemplating the impossibility of a Ghost appearing so fast.
He spoke again "En Ghost??Gubaal gala"( What Ghosts? Idiots) and stomped away in his usual style swing his hands at 160 deg. angle.

All Looked at him bewildered, What the HECK??
And thus all the 8 pair of eyes stared back frowning with anger at Landu!!!
All he could manage was a sheepish grin and say "It was just a stone.I thought it would be funny,eh?I guess not" and he sprinted back to the safety of the classroom before he could be trashed by everyone.
As Dummi smiled to herself, Amari couldn't help but wonder how anyone could be so scared as to pee in their skirt a moment ago and then still manage to smile??? Ahh She is such a weirdo!!!

Mama could smell the Samosa as he narrated the Baavi story to Abhishek who was trying to remove a old Ferrari sticker from the box.

Note : Sorry for so many Dreams and Flashbacks.Nothing worth writing happening these days!!