He and her

Love is beautiful .It wasn't easy to find her admist all the other more worse or better but he did.And he was happy until yesterday!
He lay awake on his bed, thinking about the previous evening.
It has been a month and a week since he did something to her that he never imagined he would do![Dirty minds before you reach your conclusions,here is what he did]
On a sunny Thursday morning he wakes up having no idea what the day has in store for
him or did he??
Inspired by an article in the local daily on how to approach your "gal" on valentine's day,he loads his purse with every penny he has ever saved and calls her up!!
As violins play in his head,he hears her soft voice from the other side,too numb to talk much he asks her to meet him at 'that' place.She obliges!!
Time running out,he rushes,he doesn't want to meet her on a valentine's day in the wrong place at the wrong time and so he runs, catches a auto and stops by a flower shop.The flower shop he had hardly seen or cared though he had passed by it a 1000 times and now he was here buying a rose for his love! wait a minute ...love?
He was in LOVE!!?
Love does make people do strange things,he bought a bunch of roses at a steep price on which he didn't care to bargain...no...not today and he runs again...!
Panting and out of breath he spots her at a distance and that doesn't help his panting or his heart pumping at all time high.
He walks up to her and they exchange the pleasantries.
Rumors are a plenty in college about the relationship between the two and he has no wish to add fuel to fire!
On a pathway hardly used lined up by trees on both sides he calls out her name and she turns around and looks at him and their eyes meet!
He goes through a million opinion polls "should I or not?", "now or afterwards?", "what will she think?","will it all be over?"
But it wasn't his head that was in control now was it?As he brings out his bouquet of roses and he gets on his knees and hands out the roses to her as the dried leaves descend from the heavens on the spring of 2008.
And she stoops a little and takes it with a smile he would die for as her hands lightly brushes his and sends chills down his spine.Both couldn't be more different he the joyful person and she the more restrained person.He all flustered and sweating and she calm and smiling[but inside.."oww my god!!!!"] she won't show an iota of shock or nervousness or excitement as always!
As for him the memory will be preserved deep in his heart for ever!
And today sprawled on his bed, his "love" has come a long way and reasons known only to him his heart is pumping the same way as it did when he was on his knees on 14th feb!!
And what was the reason?? Guess the answer and lemme know!!

Disclaimer: This is based on a true story. Its not intended to harm or offend anyone[as if it did ;) ]. And the blogger doesn't take any responsibility[as usual].
Resemblance to any person living or 'in love' is purely intentional.

Love Bites!!

How is your gf?
Do you have a gf?
You have a bf!!
So what!?? Even I have a boyfriend!
Are you trying to have a gf?
Is he your bf?


These are some of the questions that have been asked and replied by my friends in the last 2 days!!
What is it the age, post result breather time of some of my friends or just the RAIN??Everywhere I go, these queries about bf & gf crop up!!

These are the conversations that we 'single ready to mingle but life didn't give us much to jingle' have.But what about those on the other side of this "love spectrum"??

These are some of those which I "overheard".


Conversation between guy1 & gal1:

gal1: I love you!!!
gal1: love you!!!
gal1: love you!!!
guy1: Oww.. [heart beating, head spinning....]

........and on the next day....

gal1: Sorry..I was talking silly yesterday..I was out of my mind...I didn't mean it.
guy1: Ohh..[heart breaking,head sliping...]

Conversation between guy2 & gal2

gal2: I want to have 3 kids!!
guy2: how sweet!![ and in his head..... WTF?!!!]

Conversation between guy3 & gal3

guy3: I love you dear!
gal3: I love you too! :)
. BLAH...
. BLAH....
. BLAH...
.BLAH...
gal3: hey did I tell you am dating a guy from my class!!
guy3: what?!?
gal3: yeah he is very cute...
guy3: oh!
-----guy3 has sighned out-------
gal3: you there dear??


Conversation between me and her

me: I love you
her: hehe
me: what hehe it wasn't a joke!
her: oh!! hmmm...ummm...I ..I ..will cia later byee!!
[NOTE: This was a HYPOTHETICAL conversation!!]

Some are trying really hard,some want tips on how to,some have gone all the way and succeded somehow[and regret ;)],well others sit back and enjoy the show!!!!

and yeah ALL THE BEST for that!!

@#$%^& you!!

The main intention of abuse is to insult and also hurt the other person. Thats the key. If you have a set of vocabulary that your recipient does not understand or does not consider derogatory, sorry , its a waste!

In kannada as kids,abuses were mainly restricted to the animal names.
x: "Kaththe" [Donkey]
y: "Kothi" [Monkey]
x: "Naayi" [Dog]
y: "Goobe" [Owl]
x: "Handhi" [Pig]

This would go on and on till limited vocabulary of animal names were exhausted or one of the kids would decide that the best way to tackle a verbal abuse is by his fist!
There were few other variant words of demon/devil like "Devva", "Bhootha", "Pretha", "Peede", "Pishaachi" - it helped those, who knew very few animal names and not too keen to get into fist fights!

As we grow older, most of the animal names lose their effect. In fact, some of them change their meaning altogether.
"Kaththe", "Kothi", "Handhi" almost move out of ones vocabulary.

The other day my friend Kiran asked what does " Goobal" mean as it is the most widely used word in coversation!
"Goobal" and its so many versions like "Goob", "Goobs", "Goobal", "Goobad", "Goobald" etc evolves from "Goobe" which is usually accompanied by false anger, a suppressed smile etc!

"Naayi" however takes different meanings altogether. Here are a few examples.
Australia India kayyli naayi thara hodskondru" [Australia got beaten badly in India's hands]
"Avnu naayi thara thinthane" [He hogs a lot, like a dog] Dog stands for 'too much'.


So it goes until one day , the "real" abusive words come to your rescue.
The more common of the is 'Magne' [son] and its plural 'Makla'[children] not much to swear about in english but in kannada they have their own weightage.

And there are instances when all 3 of these are mixed!
You doing a very important work and your Friend is irritating paying no heed to your pleads for him to stop and you burst up and say "Eh Goobe!! Naayi tara adbeda Magne!![ You owl!Don't act too much, son!!]

Well in English, SHIT! Am not going into that FUCKed up BULLSHIT that those IDIOTs say !!

"Post " mortem!!!

What happens after a man dies?

Is there a God waiting to settle things? Is there another world in a parallel universe ? An afterlife? Hell or heaven?
Does Chitragupta use the latest version of Tally for his accounting purposes so as to catch up with growing number of souls Yama keeps bringing? Or do dead people get bored to death[again] waiting in never ending queues for their turns to come up as he flips through the pages of his dusty old books?
Would St.Peter's job be outsourced to some other Indian saint from a tier 2 city? Will the Indian saint have lost it to a Mexican or a philipino by the time you reach there?
Do the Jehadis get their share of 72 virgins? Or will they be given a raw deal citing the dwindling male-to-female ratio as the reason?

What about the virtual world??

Have you ever wondered what will happen to the email account of a person once he dies? What happens to their blog? Their flickr/not 'baalti ibibo' account? Their Orkut account?Their adsense[from which I haven't earned much]?

You have an online friend,Girlfriend,a very 'good friend',but you don't know where exactly they live but you 'keep in touch' nonetheless.How will they know when a person is dead or is simply 'Inactive Virtually'???

If people want their online world to end along with them, there needs to be some sort of notification system. You could actually configure your message what you want to convey to people and store it in your mailbox. And only your lawyer will have the access key which triggers sending this message. Once this system matures, there will be provisions for custom messages for individuals or groups.
A general message could read something like this:
"Hey, I am dead now. Sorry for not responding to your mail. For any further queries, contact my family at 91-821-..."
A message to an online girlfriend can go like this:
"Honey, I am dead now. Apologies for not buying you the cute bracelet I promised. Don't keep in touch"
A Yahoo messenger status message reads :"I am dead" with a smiley with its tongue hanging out emoting your dead face.
A slightly complex message could be configured for a particular friend :
"Yeah bastard you were right. I ignored all those 'send it to 20 people or else bad luck will haunt you' forward and I am dead now. Send this message to 20 alive people you know"
All those people who want their legacy to continue will make "wills" . A lawyer reading it out will be something like "The son will get the blog account and all the ad revenue generated from that. The daughter will have access to flickr pro account and Youtube account and the son cannot share her flickr account to upload the pictures for his blog posts. The grandson will get the Rapidshare premium account and if it is noticed that he is using it to upload porn or do illegal stuff, it will be given to charity. The wife gets nothing as she does not use the computer at all"!!

say cheeze!!!

Childhood Photos where good but once that make you regret are those which have all these weird facial expressions by me.
Some have straight face,blank expression,lost in thoughts kind of photos,others have a more sinister expressions frowning,biting lips,etc.
Of course in school where we had the occasional group photos where we sat in the order of height or stood like a line of suspects for an invisible witness to identify. The photographer never asked us to smile - he basically fiddled with his camera until he could get the entire group in focus and then clicked.
Each time with a weird expressions,was it on purpose I don't remember but I was a fan of "THE ROCK" from W.W.F so that may explain one of the eye brow raised looks in some of the photos.
Not to forget those Photos where the guy behind the camera took hours to click the photo and the whole group is giggling for some reason or the other ,while some get tears in eyes as they keep staring at the camera for such a long time,its blink and u miss situation.
In college, I needed a passport size photo for some reason ,could have been for a hall ticket or something. In a scary dark room, lit by lights behind umbrellas or something,the photographer asked me to sit on a bench. Times when you feel how awkward it would be like to sit in a press conference,all cameras pointed on you and they Flash!!!
Here I sit and try giving the 'best'est descent pose as he asks "camera kade noodi sir"[look at the camera sir]in the anticipation of the 'flash' I steadily look at it[concentrated literally] while he clicked. And he forgot to say 'smile'. So when the prints came out they had me looking very worried about something,and the Photographer shared the expression while handing it out to me.People who saw the picture never ceased to wonder what had engaged my attention so much - some making hyper imaginative stories which mainly revolved around a upset stomach,to the Photographer being onto something!!
Each time,something goes wrong.For example,it may be your hairs[a lot of times],pimples in wrong place,a fly flying across and thus gracing you with a birthmark on your cheeks,blinking of eyes at the 'flash', or doing some personal chores thinking those activities are "OUT OF FRAME".
Reason am not into modeling ;) and keeping that ID card hidden away from people :D!!!


Cameraman:'smile please'!!
You:Pardon! *FLASH*
You & Cameraman:DAMN!!!

RUN,the sky is falling....

US aka Uncle Sam saves mankind from a disaster by bombing it apart.
Really??
Its not often you hear a US satellite malfunctioning,so I was quite surprised to hear a strange news about a US spy satellite tumbling towards earth and the dangers it may pose to the people of the world!!But Uncle Sam being the godfather of us all chose to destroy the falling thing before it could come down and hence save mankind...yeah whatever!!
Apart from being a "SPY SATELLITE" this out of control oldie satellite with its toxic fuels may have been highly dangerous so THEY HAD TO DESTROY IT!!!
Now how do you destroy a satellite falling from the darkness above at a speed of 27,000 km/hour!!
US did it with a missile they launched from a ship!!
It wasn't done before ,which raises few questions:
How was US so sure they would accomplish to destroy something falling at such great speed??
What if they failed and the damned satellite fell on populated area,or anywhere for that matter??
If they weren't sure,was it a an experiment to test a missile to bring down potential enemy satellite??
The display and testing of such technically advance missile which can proves it can hit down anything from anywhere, will certainly send countries around the world into a tizzy and urgency to develop their own such missiles --and hence lead to more 'weapon'isation of earth,water and space!!
And to be away from these weapons well all you can do is
Run away,but be careful,the path is full of land mines,Fly away and make sure there is no missile tailing you,Swim away well beware of submarines,bombs from sky and yeah Sharks with red stripes and white stars in blue!!!

Dear Uncle Sam,
All place on map other thn 'USA' isn't a Practical Lab and all except Tom,Dick and Harry[read Americans,Bush and Tony Blair] aren't lab rats.
Yours AM SO NOT YOURS
ram
P.S:stop bullshitting the world !!!
Came across this blog which shared the view somewhat.

east shows off in front of west...and west likes it!!

Random Effects of Globalisation:A Pakistani guy dancing to a Bollywood song in front of Chicago audience on 'Americans got talent' show and getting a lot of applauds from all!!!