The moan of the thunder lights the skies,
Her sharp gaze blinds my eyes!
all dryness inside wets the surroundings,
and a smile on her face plays rhythm on my heartstrings!
while the eagle's claw dig into a kangaroo's pouch,
reminds me of her sweet voice, last of which I heard, was in march!
a evil snake’s curled up straight along the highway’
her hair so soft, none of which for me anymore are they?
A mighty volcanic eruption makes snow in the bathroom’
While his hand wraps her so close as they dance together in the ballroom!
A sex starved fish peeps through the glass bowl at the mistress
today as she is gone ,everything is lost, my sweetness!
The sick gorilla winks back at you as it eats rotten mustard,
I hate his guts and the kisses that he gets, the lucky bastard!
In the headlines : a rabbit caught smoking marijuana under the sunlight
it all comes back to me, as finally the darkness wins over the dim light
confused? thats me!
Monday, June 8, 2009
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The connversation
HE: Heloo my dear!
SHE: Who are you?
HE: myself, your well wisher… Can we b Frands?
SHE: sorry do I know you?
He: no, I’m quite famous in my "vatara" but you don't know me!
SHE: so who are you?
HE: Janardhana Shetty K.S
SHE: oh k!
HE: Can we be frands?? You know like boyfrand and galfrand!
SHE: Huh!! I don't even know you!!
HE: I told na… I am Janardhan Shetty. I’m very sexy!
SHE: so?
HE: I swim in a pond near my village so I have very sexy body when I see in mirror I look exactly like Angelina Jolie but like male Angelina Jolie.
SHE: sorry! I don't want to be your friend. And don't message me anymore.
HE: "Don't you wish your boyfrand was hot like me"? don't cha?
I know, I steal that from pussycat dolls, they are my fav. band you see!! But it is very true for me. I and my frands Madappa, Lingswamy,Teppana and Gopi danced for that song on stage during our village 'jaatre'.
SHE: *no reply*
HE: I know after hearing about my sexiness you will want to know more. I have karate purple belt. I can protect you from evils of the society..I regularly do practice with my 10 year old cushion chikku( my aunty's male son) ! Also my mother makes me drink buffalo's milk ( female buffalo) daily so I’m very straang!!
SHE: stop messaging me. I don't want to talk to u!
HE: hey my dear. You are so shy. I knew you would like me. Its all Amma Ghajagamini's krupe !! You finally fell for me!! Now even I’m shying and I have turned pink. But you cannot notice, because I got lots of pubic hairs on my face!
SHE: **** ( who the hell is Amma Ghajagamini?? )
HE: You know I have a picture of you in my bedroom, my hole( big one.. many people can come and go) and also kitchen and bathroom so I can see you all the times.. I put fresh flowers on it daily.. It has you in chaddi!! You look so naaicee.. eeheeheeheeeheee I’m blushing just saying this !!
SHE: you are a sicko!! How did you get my photo? ( F@$kin Bastard!!)
HE: Aiyo.. Amma Ghajagamini blesses me! I am not sick. I am 1st class fine! I will send a apology letter for this because I took it without your permission. I was passing near your house with my dog kunda Jonny (he is blind in 1 eye) and when you were not looking at my sexy body I took it!! I did it very fast!! I am super fast photographer you know!! But it is very blur. But I can manage!
SHE: you know my house??!! ( mummy!! )
HE: yes!! I always come in front of your house! And make my kunda jonny pee in front of your house so that I can look at you and you can look at me. But I can't look properly because I have Jogi hairstyle..so I will change tomorrow to Ghajini hairstyle.. Its a surprisee for you!! :D
SHE: whatever I don't care! Goodbye don't message me! ( oh my god! who is this jerk!! ewwwwwwwwwww )
He: oh so you want to meet me? I knew you couldn't resist my temptation and want to meet me for real.! Its all Amma Ghajagamini's krupe.. also my parents blessing. Yours and my 1st love is blossoming!! Ok my dear. I will meet you in 5 minutes. I will be wearing pink shorts( my fathers gift on my 14th birthday) its a bit tight now and some of my body parts are not comfortable in it but my mother says I look like Katrina Kaif in 'jee karda' song (male version of katrina kaif... Im veryyy sexy) ! And yellow 'reeepok' shirt! Its original! Made in Bhutan! Imported shirt you know :)
SHE: U F%*kin jerk! Get lost! don;t even dare come near my house!! OR message ME!! OK!!! just F%*k OFF!!!
HE:hahaha BAKRA!!! :D Its .......!!
Note: This is 99.9% real conversation :D
SHE: Who are you?
HE: myself, your well wisher… Can we b Frands?
SHE: sorry do I know you?
He: no, I’m quite famous in my "vatara" but you don't know me!
SHE: so who are you?
HE: Janardhana Shetty K.S
SHE: oh k!
HE: Can we be frands?? You know like boyfrand and galfrand!
SHE: Huh!! I don't even know you!!
HE: I told na… I am Janardhan Shetty. I’m very sexy!
SHE: so?
HE: I swim in a pond near my village so I have very sexy body when I see in mirror I look exactly like Angelina Jolie but like male Angelina Jolie.
SHE: sorry! I don't want to be your friend. And don't message me anymore.
HE: "Don't you wish your boyfrand was hot like me"? don't cha?
I know, I steal that from pussycat dolls, they are my fav. band you see!! But it is very true for me. I and my frands Madappa, Lingswamy,Teppana and Gopi danced for that song on stage during our village 'jaatre'.
SHE: *no reply*
HE: I know after hearing about my sexiness you will want to know more. I have karate purple belt. I can protect you from evils of the society..I regularly do practice with my 10 year old cushion chikku( my aunty's male son) ! Also my mother makes me drink buffalo's milk ( female buffalo) daily so I’m very straang!!
SHE: stop messaging me. I don't want to talk to u!
HE: hey my dear. You are so shy. I knew you would like me. Its all Amma Ghajagamini's krupe !! You finally fell for me!! Now even I’m shying and I have turned pink. But you cannot notice, because I got lots of pubic hairs on my face!
SHE: **** ( who the hell is Amma Ghajagamini?? )
HE: You know I have a picture of you in my bedroom, my hole( big one.. many people can come and go) and also kitchen and bathroom so I can see you all the times.. I put fresh flowers on it daily.. It has you in chaddi!! You look so naaicee.. eeheeheeheeeheee I’m blushing just saying this !!
SHE: you are a sicko!! How did you get my photo? ( F@$kin Bastard!!)
HE: Aiyo.. Amma Ghajagamini blesses me! I am not sick. I am 1st class fine! I will send a apology letter for this because I took it without your permission. I was passing near your house with my dog kunda Jonny (he is blind in 1 eye) and when you were not looking at my sexy body I took it!! I did it very fast!! I am super fast photographer you know!! But it is very blur. But I can manage!
SHE: you know my house??!! ( mummy!! )
HE: yes!! I always come in front of your house! And make my kunda jonny pee in front of your house so that I can look at you and you can look at me. But I can't look properly because I have Jogi hairstyle..so I will change tomorrow to Ghajini hairstyle.. Its a surprisee for you!! :D
SHE: whatever I don't care! Goodbye don't message me! ( oh my god! who is this jerk!! ewwwwwwwwwww )
He: oh so you want to meet me? I knew you couldn't resist my temptation and want to meet me for real.! Its all Amma Ghajagamini's krupe.. also my parents blessing. Yours and my 1st love is blossoming!! Ok my dear. I will meet you in 5 minutes. I will be wearing pink shorts( my fathers gift on my 14th birthday) its a bit tight now and some of my body parts are not comfortable in it but my mother says I look like Katrina Kaif in 'jee karda' song (male version of katrina kaif... Im veryyy sexy) ! And yellow 'reeepok' shirt! Its original! Made in Bhutan! Imported shirt you know :)
SHE: U F%*kin jerk! Get lost! don;t even dare come near my house!! OR message ME!! OK!!! just F%*k OFF!!!
HE:hahaha BAKRA!!! :D Its .......!!
Note: This is 99.9% real conversation :D
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Fly HIGH!!
In a dark dingy bar, I perch on a round stool holding a drink in my hands. And I have this conversation.
Me: I can fly… So... I am a fly.
Yeah! I am a fly!But I am also stupid. I am a stupid fly.
I am a stupid fly.And I even eat shit .So I must be a shit eating stupid fly.
Hmmm...I am a shit eating stupid fly .I am so fucked up. Well then I am a fucked up shit eating stupid fly.
I am a fucked up shit eating stupid fly .I’ll soon die.Then I’ll be a dead fucked up shit eating stupid fly.Thats right!!
So what are you?
An Eskimo?
Or are you a mug of Beer?huh!
well then...hmmm!
Jeez!! Don't tell me you are a cup of Horlicks? Hahahahaaaaha!!
Or are you a shot of Tequila? vooo!
Ummmm I know!! yeaaa!!! You must be Superman!!
*HICK*
Oh yeah! By the way I am also DRUNK!!
Me: I can fly… So... I am a fly.
Yeah! I am a fly!But I am also stupid. I am a stupid fly.
I am a stupid fly.And I even eat shit .So I must be a shit eating stupid fly.
Hmmm...I am a shit eating stupid fly .I am so fucked up. Well then I am a fucked up shit eating stupid fly.
I am a fucked up shit eating stupid fly .I’ll soon die.Then I’ll be a dead fucked up shit eating stupid fly.Thats right!!
So what are you?
An Eskimo?
Or are you a mug of Beer?huh!
well then...hmmm!
Jeez!! Don't tell me you are a cup of Horlicks? Hahahahaaaaha!!
Or are you a shot of Tequila? vooo!
Ummmm I know!! yeaaa!!! You must be Superman!!
*HICK*
Oh yeah! By the way I am also DRUNK!!
Sunday, December 28, 2008
20 things!!
YeePIEEE!! Exams are over and its holidayssss!!! You people may be doing a bit of traveling. And happen to travel by train.
But the damn train is going to be late for hours and you are waiting all alone.
Pikkupage guide on what to do when stuck in a railway station:
1] Neatly lay your handkerchief on the ground, pull out your music player and start dancing. You may earn some POCKET MONEY.
2] Get into random trains walk the whole length of the train and tell people its your seat they are sitting on.
3] If the above idea turns ugly and if people didn’t find it funny, then RUN!
4] Start doing stretching exercises include splitting your legs and cry out in pain if you can’t do it fully!
5] Walk till the end of the platform; go to the next one till the last platform. Now repeat this in reverse, but JOG this time.
6] Dress up in saffron and do a Baba Ramdev imitation.
7] After the YOGA you need to rest , so lay down on the bench and do 'NIDRAASAN', to make it more real play some OOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM OOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM kind of music on the player.
8] And suddenly wake up with a shocked expression and run around madly yelling ‘BOMB IN MY ASS…BOMB IN MY ASS’, when everyone is scared and runs away ,with a relieved expression on your face let out a gentle FART.
9] If the Guards or the Police don’t shoot you when you yelled BOMB and if you are still alive we shall continue to the next step.
10] Hire a coolie and order him to entertain you!!
11] That may not work.
12] Jump into a train and try peeing in every toilet of every boogie. You can ask another fellow waiting ‘male’ passenger to compete with you.
13] Well you can cheat by making “ssshhhh” sounds once you are inside. He will never know ;)
14] Go to the waiting room and DON’T WAIT there!! The room will be really pissed by that :D
15] Check out the prettiest girl in the platform and March past her like you did in school and salute her.
16] She may not be interested in you anymore but don’t let that deter you, keep trying that on every other girl, at least one of them will have a bad taste and may find that funny and get impressed.
17] And if you happen to be a girl try that on a guy. He sure will like what ever you do!! Trust me!!
18] Go to the newsstand and read the headlines and with an evil laughter tease the shopkeeper “yessssssss!!! I read the headlines for freee …nananananananaaaa MUHAHAHAHAHAHA”
19] Start studying for your next exam!! HUH???!!!
20] Get into a browsing center if any in the station and see my **** (the stars stand for ‘B L O G’ you dirty minds!!!)
CAUTION : DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME :D
But the damn train is going to be late for hours and you are waiting all alone.
Pikkupage guide on what to do when stuck in a railway station:
1] Neatly lay your handkerchief on the ground, pull out your music player and start dancing. You may earn some POCKET MONEY.
2] Get into random trains walk the whole length of the train and tell people its your seat they are sitting on.
3] If the above idea turns ugly and if people didn’t find it funny, then RUN!
4] Start doing stretching exercises include splitting your legs and cry out in pain if you can’t do it fully!
5] Walk till the end of the platform; go to the next one till the last platform. Now repeat this in reverse, but JOG this time.
6] Dress up in saffron and do a Baba Ramdev imitation.
7] After the YOGA you need to rest , so lay down on the bench and do 'NIDRAASAN', to make it more real play some OOOOOOOMMMMMMMMM OOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM kind of music on the player.
8] And suddenly wake up with a shocked expression and run around madly yelling ‘BOMB IN MY ASS…BOMB IN MY ASS’, when everyone is scared and runs away ,with a relieved expression on your face let out a gentle FART.
9] If the Guards or the Police don’t shoot you when you yelled BOMB and if you are still alive we shall continue to the next step.
10] Hire a coolie and order him to entertain you!!
11] That may not work.
12] Jump into a train and try peeing in every toilet of every boogie. You can ask another fellow waiting ‘male’ passenger to compete with you.
13] Well you can cheat by making “ssshhhh” sounds once you are inside. He will never know ;)
14] Go to the waiting room and DON’T WAIT there!! The room will be really pissed by that :D
15] Check out the prettiest girl in the platform and March past her like you did in school and salute her.
16] She may not be interested in you anymore but don’t let that deter you, keep trying that on every other girl, at least one of them will have a bad taste and may find that funny and get impressed.
17] And if you happen to be a girl try that on a guy. He sure will like what ever you do!! Trust me!!
18] Go to the newsstand and read the headlines and with an evil laughter tease the shopkeeper “yessssssss!!! I read the headlines for freee …nananananananaaaa MUHAHAHAHAHAHA”
19] Start studying for your next exam!! HUH???!!!
20] Get into a browsing center if any in the station and see my **** (the stars stand for ‘B L O G’ you dirty minds!!!)
CAUTION : DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME :D
Saturday, November 15, 2008
At first sight
She was sitting with her long legs resting over the small stool and looking over the window, The full moon peeped in from between the scattering clouds, the drizzle left behind puddles of water on the road which glistened golden under the sodium vapor streetlights.
The cloudy sky reflected the gloominess in her life. She wanted a breath of fresh air and still in her short silky night gown she slipped in to her sandals and out she went. Crossing her arms with a slight shiver she walked alone in the dark night, which went darker with the sudden power cut! Though having second thoughts about the whole walking thing now, she carried on. The eerie calmness accompanied by the cold of the night raised innumerable Goosebumps on her soft smooth skin. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a lighter. The flame warmed her and the warm smoke gushed into her lungs and she felt more alive. Closing her eyes and opening her bright red lips into a "o" she breathed out the smoke out in rings. And she opened her beautiful blue eyes and watched the smoke ring enlarge and rise into the sky, the moonlight and the trees nearby made the whole atmosphere seem magical.
He looked at the brown steaming hot coffee, the brew was perfect so was the aroma of the beans as he savored it. He just loved the warm caffeine run down his throat when everything around was chilled. But as the vapors rose he saw something or someone at a distance. Keeping his favorite red mug down on the table and crossing his lush green lawn he walked over to the compound wall and looked at her. She was unlike anyone he had seen before. She was the most beautiful of all the girls he had been with. There was something about her. The lit cigarette dangling loosely in her hand, the smoke she was blowing out, the slight flutter of her night gown in the gentle cool breeze. The sight was hotter then any coffee he ever had! She was gorgeous from head to toe! Just the sight of it gave him goose bumps all over and he pinched himself both to reassure himself that he wasn't dreaming and to keep the blood flowing in his hands, he watched the magical sight.
And then, she looked up at him through her blue eyes straight into his own light brown eyes. And they smiled with naughtiness in both of their eyes.
"CUT!!!!!" Next shot tomorrow!! Now Paack up!!" Yells The Director over the mike!
(Then he rushes over to the actors and greets them) Wonderful shot madaaam!!!, saar, soooper shot saar!!!
(The Director Mr.Murugudaasum is jubilated; the shot came off just as he wanted it to)
She (with a arrogance of a leading lady asks to the spot boy) : "huh! Finally!! Thank god!! Is my car ready??" And she walks off in a hurry without giving a cursory glance at Him.
He(madly lusting over the leading lady smiles inwardly as he imagines a love scene next and asks the director eagerlyand with a smug): Hey Mr. Director, what’s the next scene??
Mr.Murugudaasum: saaar accident scene saar!!! didn't you read the script saar?! You just scream in shock " aiyooo meenakshiiii" when a branch from a tree falls "accidently" on Madaaam's head saar!! Wonderfull script saar. Audience will be in tears saar!!! Ofcourse saar to make the impact more evident we will slip an Item song and dance called “ bahooottt dard hota hai ” !!
This Sudden twist or the fall of branch will knoct out the heroinesaar and she wil have the shocked expression on her face like forever saar and this will make drive you into Maddness saar, which cannot be cured saar and the producer wants a new twist saar he wants to Bump you off and your make soul be reborn as Superstar Himesh reshamiya saar who will then fall in love with the knocked out lady with no expressions whats so ever due to the imact saar and cure her and live happily ever after saar !!! That reminds me saar Madaam will look very saaexy in the “ghajini “ hairstyle after her surgery saar!!!
wow saar!! Such a emotional and thrilling story saar!!
He: waat?? $@#& !!! emmm errr...ohhh hmmm....(and faints)
Authors note:Fans of Ghajini and himass sorry himesh ..please think of this as a publicity ;)
The cloudy sky reflected the gloominess in her life. She wanted a breath of fresh air and still in her short silky night gown she slipped in to her sandals and out she went. Crossing her arms with a slight shiver she walked alone in the dark night, which went darker with the sudden power cut! Though having second thoughts about the whole walking thing now, she carried on. The eerie calmness accompanied by the cold of the night raised innumerable Goosebumps on her soft smooth skin. She pulled out a cigarette and lit it with a lighter. The flame warmed her and the warm smoke gushed into her lungs and she felt more alive. Closing her eyes and opening her bright red lips into a "o" she breathed out the smoke out in rings. And she opened her beautiful blue eyes and watched the smoke ring enlarge and rise into the sky, the moonlight and the trees nearby made the whole atmosphere seem magical.
He looked at the brown steaming hot coffee, the brew was perfect so was the aroma of the beans as he savored it. He just loved the warm caffeine run down his throat when everything around was chilled. But as the vapors rose he saw something or someone at a distance. Keeping his favorite red mug down on the table and crossing his lush green lawn he walked over to the compound wall and looked at her. She was unlike anyone he had seen before. She was the most beautiful of all the girls he had been with. There was something about her. The lit cigarette dangling loosely in her hand, the smoke she was blowing out, the slight flutter of her night gown in the gentle cool breeze. The sight was hotter then any coffee he ever had! She was gorgeous from head to toe! Just the sight of it gave him goose bumps all over and he pinched himself both to reassure himself that he wasn't dreaming and to keep the blood flowing in his hands, he watched the magical sight.
And then, she looked up at him through her blue eyes straight into his own light brown eyes. And they smiled with naughtiness in both of their eyes.
"CUT!!!!!" Next shot tomorrow!! Now Paack up!!" Yells The Director over the mike!
(Then he rushes over to the actors and greets them) Wonderful shot madaaam!!!, saar, soooper shot saar!!!
(The Director Mr.Murugudaasum is jubilated; the shot came off just as he wanted it to)
She (with a arrogance of a leading lady asks to the spot boy) : "huh! Finally!! Thank god!! Is my car ready??" And she walks off in a hurry without giving a cursory glance at Him.
He(madly lusting over the leading lady smiles inwardly as he imagines a love scene next and asks the director eagerlyand with a smug): Hey Mr. Director, what’s the next scene??
Mr.Murugudaasum: saaar accident scene saar!!! didn't you read the script saar?! You just scream in shock " aiyooo meenakshiiii" when a branch from a tree falls "accidently" on Madaaam's head saar!! Wonderfull script saar. Audience will be in tears saar!!! Ofcourse saar to make the impact more evident we will slip an Item song and dance called “ bahooottt dard hota hai ” !!
This Sudden twist or the fall of branch will knoct out the heroinesaar and she wil have the shocked expression on her face like forever saar and this will make drive you into Maddness saar, which cannot be cured saar and the producer wants a new twist saar he wants to Bump you off and your make soul be reborn as Superstar Himesh reshamiya saar who will then fall in love with the knocked out lady with no expressions whats so ever due to the imact saar and cure her and live happily ever after saar !!! That reminds me saar Madaam will look very saaexy in the “ghajini “ hairstyle after her surgery saar!!!
wow saar!! Such a emotional and thrilling story saar!!
He: waat?? $@#& !!! emmm errr...ohhh hmmm....(and faints)
Authors note:Fans of Ghajini and himass sorry himesh ..please think of this as a publicity ;)
Monday, October 27, 2008
Bounce Back!
As I write this, the speakers are doing "Shut up and Bounce"( a song from Dostana) and my neighbor kid is bursting a never ending cracker marathon thingy which is just not willing to SHUT UP!!!(Notice the growing irritation towards Crackers ?? )
You must be wondering what was the great thing that spared you of posts on this blog.
Well its called "writers block".( I Am no writer but there was a certain mental block or something)
There was nothing happening which would be worth all the typing and publishing (and I heard what you just said!! "As if the previous posts were worth it" :P )
I ran out of stories on Friends (Well not exactly, just waiting for more INTERESTING developments, WATCH THIS SPACE ;)). And I won't be writing mine of course :D
I had enough of answering to lousy questions about myself or otherwise and posting them. I mean who cares about it??
And I seriously didn't want to write about all the weird dreams that I've been having lately.( The other person involved wouldn't want me to either. :D)
Though all 3 of us (me, Sabi and Sheki- who BTW started MOBILE BLOGGING it as and when things happened ) set out to write a blog entry on our Mangalore trip, but, none came up with it. Wonder why? (We were so very GOOD there ;))
The cells in the brain and heart (dil ki awaaz) didn't agree on anything and nothing qualified as good enough. Or may be I shall cut all the bullshit and say I was plain lazy! But with all the special classes, tuitions and of course the college I wouldn't call myself lazy!!
But then at this rate the handful of my readers will soon forget this lovely blog (:D) So thought would just drop in and wish you all a Happy Diwali!!
Go burst those loud polluting expensive crackers for which little children in a small dusty village near Sivakasi toiled day and night, holed up in a small window less dark room to make a few extra paisa for their family !! (Ahh the sadistic pleasure in putting someone off :D)
Go BANG BANG BANG BOOM BOOM !!!(so how many of you went through HELLO??? It sucks!! )
Shut up and Bounce…. Bounce…. ….
You must be wondering what was the great thing that spared you of posts on this blog.
Well its called "writers block".( I Am no writer but there was a certain mental block or something)
There was nothing happening which would be worth all the typing and publishing (and I heard what you just said!! "As if the previous posts were worth it" :P )
I ran out of stories on Friends (Well not exactly, just waiting for more INTERESTING developments, WATCH THIS SPACE ;)). And I won't be writing mine of course :D
I had enough of answering to lousy questions about myself or otherwise and posting them. I mean who cares about it??
And I seriously didn't want to write about all the weird dreams that I've been having lately.( The other person involved wouldn't want me to either. :D)
Though all 3 of us (me, Sabi and Sheki- who BTW started MOBILE BLOGGING it as and when things happened ) set out to write a blog entry on our Mangalore trip, but, none came up with it. Wonder why? (We were so very GOOD there ;))
The cells in the brain and heart (dil ki awaaz) didn't agree on anything and nothing qualified as good enough. Or may be I shall cut all the bullshit and say I was plain lazy! But with all the special classes, tuitions and of course the college I wouldn't call myself lazy!!
But then at this rate the handful of my readers will soon forget this lovely blog (:D) So thought would just drop in and wish you all a Happy Diwali!!
Go burst those loud polluting expensive crackers for which little children in a small dusty village near Sivakasi toiled day and night, holed up in a small window less dark room to make a few extra paisa for their family !! (Ahh the sadistic pleasure in putting someone off :D)
Go BANG BANG BANG BOOM BOOM !!!(so how many of you went through HELLO??? It sucks!! )
Shut up and Bounce…. Bounce…. ….
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