Why I'm not the next Indian Idol or anything of that sort!!

It was like being in the Akbar’s court which was flanked by the Navaratnas or 9 talented smart people(was it Akbar or Shah Jahan?? I’m not sure,I'm bad at these).
Imagine what could be going through a guy with no such talents in the midst of all those great people. That’s exactly how I was feeling sitting in there in my living room( I wanted to leave that place) with my Uncles, Aunts and Cousins.
It was the last day of their stay and the young ones are expected to entertain everyone by showcasing their talents( I don’t know if it happens in every house, if there is any chance of that happening, all losers like me, STAY AWAY)
So began the Talent Night, at 11:30 PM.
1st up a dance by my 11 year old cousin, who happened to be learning Bharatnatyam for the past 8 months and her mother tapped the Taala and she batted her eye lids and her feet moving hard and quick and the chan....chan..chan chan (not as in Jackie Chan)sound of her Gungroos that too at 11.45in the night she was starting to look quite scary just like Soundarya in Aptamitra( Ra raa…ra ra or vidya balan in bhool bhulaiya). Well at least her hairs did look like that.
And as she finished off to thunderous applause, the Karate Kid got ready.
Now I have nothing against Karate, I am fine with HUuuuu and HAaaaa’s (with a scornful face)but when that 13 year old started whining that he won’t do karate alone as it would look stupid, all eyes turned to me. I had to be the guinea pig so that the Karate Kid didn’t look stupid. And so began the ordeal as I stood in the middle of the room surrounded by everyone around the imaginary Ring and the Karate kid launched assaults one after the other.The kicks followed by the punches(while I wondered if needed a Abdomen guard just in case) .It was also tough not to “ROFALOL” or “LOL” when he clenched his fists tightly and shaking his head with a cringed ,twisted and scorned look shrieked “Arhhaaaaiyaaaa”(That’s got to be Piles or is that Bruce Lee style).Things were fine until the Kid decided to show off his latest little ‘gyan’ about Kung Fu. Ahaan kiddo !! That’s not gonna happen!! And I slumped back into my chair much to the disappointment of all.
After the action comes the music and songs.
And so begins the “Sangeeta kacheri” , devotional singing by my two other cousin sisters as they wailed away song after song in different languages. I love music, as in Bollywood music and Akon ;), at least I understand them, but devotional songs and folk songs are a bit too much for me. I can’t make head or tail of anything in devotional song other than the names of gods which popped up every now and then, and folk songs well they are for the folks not me.
I could let down whatever hair I have and do Head banging to ridiculous noise of heavy metal, I could nod my head to the beats of hip hop and say Yo,Yeah, but what was I expected to do for devotional songs and folks?
As everyone just closed their eyes and put on a bright smile as if oozing with spirituality. I just sat there staring at the fan creaking and rotating slowly as if unsure of its purpose on Earth(like you and me) and not knowing what to do closed my eyes and…well….dozed off.
And much much later, after severe elbowing by my sister, I opened my eyes and got a life long supply of “hmph!! Today’s generation, no value for real music, only MTV” look from my father and a “lazy bugger, couldn’t even listen to my daughter singing” look form my uncles and aunts.
As for others they all looked at me just like the way people did when Saurav Ganguly used to get out at cheap scores ,match after match, a disappointed,”Sucker,You’re good for nothing” look.
Well at least I managed to successfully sleep through all that, you Bloody Insomniacs, its 12.40 AM for Dr.Sri Sri Sri.....Sri Ravishankarji's sake!!




Dedicated to all Losers and those of you who were GOOD AT SOMETHING LONG LONG AGO and now fail to lift their Ass off the Computer Chair.
As for those practising even now , STOP insulting the SPIRT OF YOUTH!!
GO TO SLEEP!!!!!!!!!! ;)
PS: Autobiographies suck and Don't mind the post when inviting me to your Bharatnatyam,Karate or Singing Shows.:)
PPS: Are you just as tired as I am of my ‘Disclaimers’, ’Note’ and ‘PS’???????