in past tense

I AM BACCCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!










Oh! That's Vidya Balan's back...sorry....nevermind ...mmmm.









1)First of all does any one still read blogs or should it be, does anyone still blog?

2) Ok for those who do read ,this is me on a comeback post and I would loveee some " Baaand Baaja" ( Band baaja baraath music is playing in the background ) for that.Songs in that movie seem fresh and hip so that's the reason am listening to it and NOT at all because 90% of my friends these days are talking about the M word. MARRIAGE.

3) Everyone of us normal souls who did not live in the 'FRIENDS' and 'HIMYM' sitcoms usually have 2,3 gangs right? Like oldest strongest gang, then the casual ones,the college gang, the work place gang etc.So I was saying wherever and whichever gang I meet these days somehow end up with the topic of marriage.Marriage of their sisters(and all the responsibilities), marriage of their friends,marriage of their girlfriend/boyfriend(with someone else.papa) and last but not the least their own marriage(ex: Sabi). And today being Children's Day it feels even more sad because you want to be kid while your friends want kids.SAD SAD SAD .MUMMYYYY :'(((

4) Moving on I recently saw the gr8 Thalaivar on the BIG SCREEN.Yup for the 1st time in 21 years of my life I watched a RAJNI's movie "ROBOT" in theater.Rajni is legendary, proof of it is the endless SMS jokes that land up in your inbox more than anything else that you would rather expect.So here I was on the 3rd week after release standing in a long Que for tickets to balcony seats.Soon we realized the balcony seats were sold out and the Que was for the next show.RAJNI MANIA DAMN YOU!!.So with no other choice we stood and got a 2nd class tickets and entered the dark hall(not hole).It was a crazy experience I tell you. Having ended up with a seat in 3rd row from the screen and having Rajni practically jumping out on every damn corner of the huge F$$kin screen.Thank god Shankar did not go for 3D.I had stretch marks on my skin and endured labour pains later.What added to my pain was Aishwarya Rai Bachchan.

5) I seriously think Aish has done a great job.I mean it, must be tough working with RAJNIKANTH and that to when he is in double avatar and who is accompanied by hundreds of lookalike 'soldiers'.But she is quite natural in few scenes especially when she is supposed to look dumb!!
Check her expressions in the below video and ignore the hundred odd spinning rajni heads if you can.



6) Her next movie is already in the news, opposite Hrithik. Hrithik plays a cross between a damn good looking P.C Sorcar( preferably in western clothing and not the ones stolen from the AIR INDIA mascot, the MAHARAJA) and Stephen hawking in Sanjay Leela Bansali's next titled Guzarish. Pretty tough job to act like that but he had it easy in this particular song sequence..



I mean any guy would make such faces, expressions and cry after a WTF performance like that :P

7) If Ash ever happens to check this blog(ya right!!) she would be feeling just like you and me.
Even she would be wondering ….. 'WHY ME DUDE!???'

8) Of late having lots of encounters with the mama.Not preetham(he is a buzy man), Mama as in the police.Having been made to pay fines for 'pettycasss' and other such SERIOUS offense I have come to conclude Mysore is THE SAFEST PLACE on PLANET EARTH.FBI better suck up if they have to match the Mysore police!!(More on that when we meet personally can't share it on a public platform...they can be watching over this...shhh)

9)But still I do respect the ‘INDIAN LEGAL SYSTEM’ and if you are one of those who don’t well... there is RAKHI SAWANTH!! She is the JUDGE(sans the robe... she might wear a revealing one you know) in a new Reality(STFU already!!) show called RAKHI KA INSAAF.



WHAT THE FUKING HELL IS WRONG WITH INDIAN TELEVISION????
As if 'Yahan main ghar ghar kheli',' Agle Janam Mohe Bitiya Hi Kijo','Gunaaon ke devta' and other such scary sounding saas bahus weren’t enough !! ( YUP, A LOT OF PAINFUL RESEARCH WENT INTO GETTING THOSE NAMES )

10) Read a book meant for 9 years old.Enjoyed it :D

11) Some of my 'oh so saintly' friends hate smoking and drinking and make baby faces and act like little kids to get the 'cuteness' meter high.All this when they happen to be in a pub/disc.Come on don't you realize you are at the wrong place.I mean what are bedrooms,bathrooms,street corners,school annual days and Dance India Dance for if all you wanted to do was just dance and nothing else.?

12) Apparently in corporate culture an SMS to your Team leader sent as an excuse for an extra long break which went something like this: "Vehcle punctrd, wil b late'
is not right.The TL replied: "AM.NOT.YOUR.FRIEND.TO.WHOM.YOU.SEND.such.SMSes.THIS.IS.NOT.AT.ALL.ACCEPTABLE!!"(am just giving the jist of it all and I still haven't figured out the reason behind so many fullstops.Thought would reply back asking the reason but then let it go :P )

13) Today is Children's day and I wish you all oldies a very happy Children's day.And so today am not gonna be 21 points long, I'll end at the beginning of the teenage.. 13!

Kya ba, Kya karto?

Ok for those who did not know, am out of home( finally!!) Yeah they took me out of my room finally after months and then put me in a AC room(which is pretty sadistic and wants to freeze me to death) and show endless PPTs ( well some were really v.v.good.SERIOUSLY).
So again I learnt quite a few stuff ( Am quite a learner eh? )

1) To be Prof-ae-ssional. (Yes that’s how our trainer spells it). :P
2) They tell you it’s just like a family. But they will check your bags, won’t allow you into every other floor. For security reasons they say, well whatever happened to being a family I wonder? Confusing really. Sigh.
3) You should learn all the languages. It really helps in pataoing chiks.( you can be the knight in the shining armour or formal clothing in this case who helps the pretty gal from a distant land) Unlucky guys like me who are lingually challenged or limited to 3 languages lose out in the wild competition. SAD.
4) People still think am silent and that I don’t talk much. And the irony is I am the one who introduced, initiated a conversation, smiled and nodded. What do they expect? Speech??
5) Some people are awesome.
6) Some are jerks.
7) I knew that already. But the AC drove the point deep inside my head. :P
8) There is a torture room without any windows or fresh air. The stale air was suffocating. My batch was allotted that room for training. Am so fucked. Damn it!
9) **Dozed off***
10) I am addicted to caffeine.But even that doesn’t control the sleep sometimes :D
11) HRs are so totally coool…till they lose their cool i.e and then they cut the PPT short and storm-out. :P
12) The HR head says ours is the worst batch in his 20 odd years of career. Its just like in college and school where all the lecturers used to tell the same thing. I feel young again after all the ‘growing ups’:P
13) There is 1 guy whose face forever looks lik this :[ but the moment a senior approaches it turns into :D. I tried to J, :P but all were returned with the same :[ look. I didn’t try ;) though, will do next time. Optimistic :P
14) N/Ws + routers + switches + etc=orgasm.
15) Playing BINGO.
16) Somethings don’t change. I’m still the lord of the last bench.Once me and my friend Guru(not from the movie,but I do sing guru bhai guru bhai aya che aay aaya guru bhai upon his arrival) tried sitting somewhere in the middle of the training room.So we came and took our seats about 10 mins before the sessions.But 5 mins into the sessions we realized we were in the last again. I still haven’t figured how that happened.
17) Was previous point was too long?
18) New beginning,new things, new excitement,new people, new place, new underwear :D
19) Got my Dog tag feel like wagging my tail and barking woof woof and howling into the night.
20) The previous point is to be read as : I got my ID card and am pretty excited seeing and wearing it and wanna yell yoohooo.
21) Now that am thinking of pay and stuff,should I start reading Dilbert soon?



P.S The title means 'wasap dude what doing?' new lingo.

Growing up

I am not a big fan of growing up.All those people with 'this-is-life-live-it-loser' attitude in life don't read further. I hate growing up.anything < 20 is the best. Well Growing up, I always wondered what Life was all about,was confused about god and I wanted to learn how to whistle well the biggest mystery was understanding gals.

Talking of life.
I am 20 (yeah suckers am younger than thou :P ) but I still haven't figured out what this shit is all about.Whats with this endless- mindless cycle of Birth, Living, dying(hair dye) and the real dying(GOTAK).It has to happen for a reason right??

Likely Reason 1- God!
If god is the reason then he belives in that 'karma' thingy like those bloody firangs these days. So God makes me pay in this birth for all the bad things I did in the pichla janam( raaz pichle janam ka might help now). Ok lets assume this is true, so we all like come, do shit, die, get reborn, pay for shitting in the last janam for free(like you do in public loo's) and later die again.Then we all go to heaven and live happily ever after(Thats unless you shitted more than you can pay for and ended up in hell and get boiled to death again). My problem is even if you ended up in heaven then what? You just watch those apsaras shake their booty all day long? (trust me even that would get boring after a certain time)

Likely Reason 2- No God!
Now lets assume God doesn't exist like most of these 'smart a-ss-theist belive.(So you can't say "Bhagvan aaj tak maine aapse kuch nahin maanga..pass me in this exam plzz)
Wouldn't that make the whole bloody universe a pointless excersise? ok a 1 in a trillion chance of some atom coliding with other excited thingy(WTF were they excited for anyways?) and thus created life( or whatver the theory is).A single living cell happened.And it divided and kept doin it and then a lil more and thus evolution ended up creating me and you.So now again like after all this these chance pe dance evolution happened.I will even assume that aliens exist and they don't look as hot as Megan Fox.NOW WHAT? Evolution keeps happening on and on, deaths, births happen blah blah WHATS THE BLOODY POINT OF IT ALL? I mean, in this senario though scientific and hip, people have no conciense of a supreme power checking on them so they get to keep shitting where and when they like and not pay EVER.The whole thing wil end up being a giant shit ball won't it?


So after reading this you would either be like "whoa this guy needs help" (90% of you) or whistling and envy my marvelous brain for having thought about it.(I know that could only be YOU! yup YOU)

Talking of whistling.
Growing up I always had this urge to whistle(yeah at ladies) but I still don't know how to whistle.I refered youtube for help and a guy who claims to be a great whistler tells me its just a 4 step thing.I do it and gag.I mean you put something in your mouth and blow.( it even sounds dirty and kinky)So like most things in life I get a great urge to give up.Will I? Will I never be able to blow whisle at a pretty gal walkin past and get slapped?( I dont want to)

Talking of pretty gals.
I love pretty gals. I love gals. I really do.But like most unlucky males am single and was happy.
But this converstaion with a gal who hardly knows me kind of pressed the alarm button and made me panic.

She: So what are your interests?
Me: books,movies,music,a lil photography,gals ;) (yeah was trying to be extra smart and cool)
She: gals?
Me: Yah you see every guy is interested in gals.:P
she: not really!
ME: what do you mean?yeah may be, if that guy is a gay!
She: well you you don't seem to be interested and you obviously don't have a gf..
Me:whaa..t?

BINGO AD: isse kehte hein ghaav....

Rather unsettled with that above conversation( And she ain't the first one..I have had these remarks from people for quite sometime now).I shared this conversation with my guide cum mentor and what-not friend 'mata-chums' and asked her opinion.

Mata-chums: yeah that means you are gay!
Me: :|

BINGO Ad (continues): Aur isse kehte hein ghaav pe namak!!




P.S I loved this song.Cute video and the hidden message it gives.
FIREFLIES- OWL CITY