Arbit thoughts

A) halo!( That's a very lovely greeting by the way.Abhinav alias sabi introduced that..supposed to be very romantic and sweet..so all you pretty gals reading this..get the point!)


B) Girls are like twitter.Not because you can 'follow' and 'tweet' them (I am such a pervert,really!) but because the twitter server acts just like the gal you are hitting on.For example:




C)Remember those days when you used to avoid studying or doing homework because there was a powercut and how your parents used to say 'Visveshwaraya' (or some other brainy guy) studied under the street lights,if you have interest you can do anything. Well that was long time back, he didn't have distractions like now..I mean even on street light....Sigh!



Btw that is Mallika Sherawat in HISSS


D) 10 months down the lane and I still don't get it.
In school it was called copying or more derogatorily ‘cheating’ when you wrote down what your neighbor wrote in the exam because you had no f-ing idea what to write yourself.
But in the corporate world its called “implementing the best practices”.This happens when your boss has no idea how to cope with an issue and just rips off what is being practiced by another team which is working on similar issues.


E)But still we are very 'kind' people.I mean we kindly use the word kind so many kindly fucking times.

ex-
Kindly do the needful.
Kindly revert back
Kindly follow the process fo blah blah.
Kindly call back.
Kindly regret the inconvenience caused(yeah happened,though not intentional)


F) Changing tracks to politics,
Pakistan is a failed state really.The military is ruling and looting that nation. Whereas ours is a true democracy, not just the army everyone gets a piece of the pie



INDIA WINS!!!




G) Currently one of my friend has put up a really weird profile photo in Facebook.Its actually not even a picture.Completely black window.That's it.



Now this is kind of weird really.Imagine Facebook was the real world and profile pictures are what you see of each other when you meet them.So if you were to meet this guy in particular it would be like,well, a guy in Burqa.



Yes! A guy in Burqa.Well the conversations would probably be like the comments he got for that.(Copying the comments directly.No offense to any one really)

#
ConcernedFriend1 ‎.............................???? :-/

#
Black Photo guy ‎@ConcernedFriend1 : hehehehe

#
ConcernedFriend1 what do U wanna convey dude.........??

#
Concerned Gal he he!!! wats the matter!!! :)

#
Black Photo guy ‎@Friend1 : ntng to convey mate
@Concerned Gal : well heheheheh nice no

(ya right! it would be 'nice' if it were in a fancy dress competition back when you were in 1st grade)

#
Concerned Gal ya... creative!!! keep it white... no sad sad!!!

#
Black Photo guy hahahahah well will change it after a few days

#
Nocreativitysense friend super... profile pic man :) most creative1 indeed..

(thinks Concerned gal is totally wrong and finds a black picture instead of happy white as most creative.indeed.)
#
Black Photo guy‎@Nocreativitysense friend : thnxx bro

#
Ilikeanythingdifferentgal fantastic....!!!

(Fantastically stupid)
#
Black Photo guy
‎@Ilikeanythingdifferentgal : thnxxx:)

(feels so good about himself after hearing a compliment about his burqa avatar.Blushes a lot,but behind the burqa ofcourse!)

#
Smartgal hmmm... makes so much sense lo.... wr did u get this from Black Photo guy? i cant believe d things it s depicting.... a true marvel....

#
Black Photo guy ‎@Smartgal : its just a dumb black picture :)

#
Smartgal cant believe u din get d sarcasm Black Photo guy... :P

#
Black Photo guy ‎@Smartgal : well nt in such a great mood ya .. so i think i overlooked it
(Thanks the gods for getting an excuse to finally express the actual feeling and reason for wearing burqa)
#
Smartgal ayo... wats wrong?

#
Black Photo guy ‎@Smartgal come on chat(Read as 'come to our adda')

#
Funnyguy Nice pic dude.. U r looking nice, hot, sexy & handsome here in tis pic!

(He means something like this)



#
Funnyguy ‎:p

#
Dumbgal Wats this...............??? (

#
Funnyguy Black Photo guy`s pic

#
Black Photo guy ‎@Dumbgal : its a pic
@Funnyguy : heheheh funny


H) Same guy had a status update on Facebook some time back that read "LEAVE ME ALONE"
Yes leave me alone!
Seriously having such status message is like

1) Rakhi Sawanth giving Justice in bikini.
2) Terrorist in his traditional Afghani attire with a long beard and turban with an AK47 in one hand and a bomb in another, getting the directions and talking in a faint voice about the top secret mission into the microphone hidden somewhere in between his hairy face in Times Square.
3) "champagne" and other such one word status updates with a hidden lame meaning put up by girls to make guys wonder.

yes,its all pure ATTENTION SEEKING!!

I)am really really bored and the Black photo guy is really a nice fellow.

Kya ba, Kya karto?

Ok for those who did not know, am out of home( finally!!) Yeah they took me out of my room finally after months and then put me in a AC room(which is pretty sadistic and wants to freeze me to death) and show endless PPTs ( well some were really v.v.good.SERIOUSLY).
So again I learnt quite a few stuff ( Am quite a learner eh? )

1) To be Prof-ae-ssional. (Yes that’s how our trainer spells it). :P
2) They tell you it’s just like a family. But they will check your bags, won’t allow you into every other floor. For security reasons they say, well whatever happened to being a family I wonder? Confusing really. Sigh.
3) You should learn all the languages. It really helps in pataoing chiks.( you can be the knight in the shining armour or formal clothing in this case who helps the pretty gal from a distant land) Unlucky guys like me who are lingually challenged or limited to 3 languages lose out in the wild competition. SAD.
4) People still think am silent and that I don’t talk much. And the irony is I am the one who introduced, initiated a conversation, smiled and nodded. What do they expect? Speech??
5) Some people are awesome.
6) Some are jerks.
7) I knew that already. But the AC drove the point deep inside my head. :P
8) There is a torture room without any windows or fresh air. The stale air was suffocating. My batch was allotted that room for training. Am so fucked. Damn it!
9) **Dozed off***
10) I am addicted to caffeine.But even that doesn’t control the sleep sometimes :D
11) HRs are so totally coool…till they lose their cool i.e and then they cut the PPT short and storm-out. :P
12) The HR head says ours is the worst batch in his 20 odd years of career. Its just like in college and school where all the lecturers used to tell the same thing. I feel young again after all the ‘growing ups’:P
13) There is 1 guy whose face forever looks lik this :[ but the moment a senior approaches it turns into :D. I tried to J, :P but all were returned with the same :[ look. I didn’t try ;) though, will do next time. Optimistic :P
14) N/Ws + routers + switches + etc=orgasm.
15) Playing BINGO.
16) Somethings don’t change. I’m still the lord of the last bench.Once me and my friend Guru(not from the movie,but I do sing guru bhai guru bhai aya che aay aaya guru bhai upon his arrival) tried sitting somewhere in the middle of the training room.So we came and took our seats about 10 mins before the sessions.But 5 mins into the sessions we realized we were in the last again. I still haven’t figured how that happened.
17) Was previous point was too long?
18) New beginning,new things, new excitement,new people, new place, new underwear :D
19) Got my Dog tag feel like wagging my tail and barking woof woof and howling into the night.
20) The previous point is to be read as : I got my ID card and am pretty excited seeing and wearing it and wanna yell yoohooo.
21) Now that am thinking of pay and stuff,should I start reading Dilbert soon?



P.S The title means 'wasap dude what doing?' new lingo.

21 Things I have learnt

1) Patience. I can wait for anything now. Even the gal of my dreams. :P

2) Girls are really mean, its a gang mentality I tell you because when they are alone they are sweet and nice but when together (more than 1 gal) they are like Spartans...MADNESS!! Beware! After reading this they will go..




3) Shopping is a pain in the ass. Only Girls and Abhinav would jump in joy and rush to it when they see a 40% OFF sale board.

4) The uber cool sexy music playing in the background and people going wow at the sight of me was just my imagination!
DAMN IT!

5) Its tough to explain to people that I am not gay but I am more of a lesbian. I love women! :P

6) I am awesome.
(well felt so atleast till yesterday night)

7) There can be chats like this.

Me: Wasap
sabi: nothing much.
Me: k what doin?
Sabi: nothing much lo.
Me: hmm k so wat else?
Sabi: nothing..
Sabi: so what r u doin?
Me: @#$%^&&* nothing much

8) Some people don't get sarcasm.

He: you are so gay dude :P
Me: yeah right! ( NOTE: THIS IS HIGHLY SARCASTIC)
He: oh me too..
Me: ***facepalm**

9) I use the word 'ante' a lot. (ante- roughly means 'itseems' in kannada) and I get irritated each time I use it. But I keep using it.

10) From the above points I learnt that am Awesome, boring and really very weird.

11) Except the awesomeness part other two will screw my chance of having a gal ever!

12) I can watch F.R.I.E.N.D.S over and over again till the day I die and never get bored. It’s AWESOME!

13) Best seasons are monsoon and winter i.e. other than ALL THE SEASONS OF FRIENDS.

14) I don't understand the point of all the 'mantras'/ 'bhajans' that are played in the background along with dramatic music in all those silly scenes in painful tele serials on tv.
Scene:
Evil villain-ness with a serpentine bindi enters the room, the goody good housewife who is forever dressed up like a bride, but is washing the dishes have a faceoff. And we are made to listen to 'om mangalam no need to love..om managalam( wrong mantra I know.. well so are theirs) as the faces of both women flashes alternatively a 1000 times. YAWN!


15) Though the above point may make you think otherwise, I really don't watch serials. Last time I watched 'Rakhi ka swayamwar'. I realized that I was the only one among my friends to do so. Should add that to my resume as one of the CRAZIEST THING I EVER DID!

16) Some times people don't get my jokes. Sometimes when I am serious people think am infact 'cracking' a joke. Sigh.

17) Sometimes when I try to spook my sister by coming behind her in you know my 'stealth-mode-super quite-sneakily-quick' way but the crackling sound of my bones give me away. They sound as if I have a anklet around my leg. Am so noisy I fail. :( I hope its not a medical problem. Some guys are mirror-cracking material. Am well a BONE- CRACKING MATERIAL!! AWESUM **wink**



18) With all the creams that make you fairer and drinks what make u taller or longer and brighter and the detergents which make cloths 'zyada safedi'. We will all end up like a big glowing Zoozoo very soon.(or something bright and long..DON'T USE THAT DIRTY MIND OF YOURS )

19) To believe

20) >> ok I thought I learnt a lot in these 7 months.....what were the other two?? **scratches chin, head then someplace down in between le...ok I forgot! <<

I will be 21 soon...

Me

Some days back I took a Facebook " Know your Luck and Future" and the 'prediction’ was;

“Ram honey, you'll find romance blossoming . whether it's a renewed sense of commitment to the one you've been with for a while or a new person breezing into your life. The real story is located right in the center of your heart.''

I actually take this daily because
1) Am pretty jobless
2) Anita (who apparently tells these prediction) calls me 'sweety', honey', 'dear'. That feels great. (I know am such a LOSER)

And two ladies leave a comment,one about weather I understood what Anita meant and other feels that am pretty dumb when it comes to gals and I wont get it.

Well…

AM NOT DUMB!!

Now everyone keeps telling me to get a GF.
I mean I could, are they available in that corner store? Yes I am that lazy. Its hard work really. And I am no Hrithik when it comes to anatomy so I don't attract girls like even a puppy could (but I also feel I am..*tilts head, wags tail(??)* bow bow bow..SEE! very cute)
So going around searching is bit of hard work. And being coaxed by friends who are themselves SINGLE is like a joke!!

Apart from the obvious above reason my rather big nose which sometimes blocks my view when am half way through checking out a female structure and which has huge reserves of oil making it shiny like a brand new car doesn't really attract women. (and pimples popping up ruins the effect completely. DARN)

I some times feel all the ladies even half a km away is staring at me (I don't know exactly how many, nose blocks a few).Until I realized it was ONLY literally true because when they come nearer they just fail to notice me. Helooo!? that was rude! You were staring me a few hundred meters back. I SAW YOU DOING IT!! CHEATER!!

Other times I feel like the really smart and funny guy (which I am really) like in movies who cracks a joke and women are swooning and falling all over him(but again, hasn't happened so far. Damn those misleading Movies)

Only time I did got close to someone was with her the other day. We were just chit chatting some random stuff and I was curling my fingers around hers and was cracking awesome jokes and she was giggling away like.. well.. like she does.. I mean it’s pretty unique in a beautiful way. And suddenly out of the blue she just jumps on me and lands a deep passionate kiss. It was awesome!!!!! Yes it happened. Am not lying. Such a realistic dream I tell you. Sigh.

And lastly I am supposed to be this really nice, sweet guy. You might think that’s cool but seriously, trust me you don't want to be that. We are to gals what Dinosaurs are for people. Everyone likes us and goes wow at us but only when we are dead. Don't be fooled by cho chweet,cho cutee...soo nice of u...sweet ..You will get fucked but never get a chance to fuck.

So the only one I love is Deepika.

The following conversation with my friend (the bastard hits on his bhabhi) will prove you how much I lover her.


sabi: hw's alien v/s predators??

ramprakash: 1st one?
its super
2nd okey

sabi: i guess 1st 1 nly

ramprakash: ya its gud

sabi: a v/s p requiem anthe
wts tat??
1st or 2nd??

ramprakash: avp 2 is 2nd
:P
avp is 1st
:D

sabi: nin pinda
wen did avp 2 come??
k de 1 I tol is avp2
i want avp1
:|

ramprakash: and i want both a and p to eat u!!
deepu is minee!!!!


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P.S: If you thought this was funny then that smile on your face made writing this worthwhile. And by chance if you had always thought of me as a GOOD BOY and now realized that I am after all a jackass.
WAS KIDDING! GOD PROMISE!
:P

right to reproduction

did you obtain the rights yet? ;)