My dairy entry for today!

My cousin recently started writing a dairy.And the curious guy that I am, I leafed through it, yup totally ignoring the warning that said " U are so shameless.Stop reading other's dairy" and I invaded his privacy. Well he is studying in 8th std and in the same school that I had, the gr8 MPV. So I was expecting to get some juicy bits because as far as I remember, 7th-8th std were the most controversial years in school. My classmates would agree.We, the whole class learnt the taboo words S*ck and F*ck and used it generously.Thats not all, we learnt and did a lot of other things. So I was quite curious to find something like that in his dairy.
But sadly, I was dissapointed.What lay there was just a log of events with time and place.
"I woke up at 7.30 and left to school at 8.30"
" We played throwball in the games period. By the time of the bell, the score for both teams was leveled at 2-2."
and so on..
There goes my chance to tease him for sometime.Yeah am a lousy evil child teaser.Huh! whatver.
Anyways I myself never wrote a dairy.You may ask what about this blog? Well this is not exactly an e-dairy.This is more of a platform where I pretend to be smartass and come up with somewhat funnier pjs and tease my friends like in the previous posts. So well let me give you sneak-peek into what my dairy would look like.( writing like my cousin)


10:00 AM-
Sunrise! (never seen it for the past many months or is it years?)

My day starts at 10 AM when all the early morning walkers and joggers in the park in front of my house are replaced my college going gals who come all the way to college and bunk their class and sit under the shade of a tree with their jobless boyfriends. No am not jealous !
You would expect a line about how my mother/sister would be trying to get me off my bed.But no.They have stopped trying! ;)


10:20 AM-
Getting off the bed:(is the most painfull)

I get off the bed after reading through all the goodmorning and non-veg forwards to begin the day on my cellphone.Just as I step off the bed, staring back at me is a very horrible sight in the mirror.WTF is that? oh!
And scratching and stretching I walk down to make my mouth and breath 'tazaa'. Not that I blow on the face of every other girl I meet.But stil I do brush!
As my mother starts her usual "Is this the time?? all are done with their breakfast". My aunt who is here answers "no no why you scolding him? he is up early. yesterday he was even more late" I don't understand was she supporting or making fun of me? BAh! I don't care as I land my ass on the sofa and grab the newspaper and glance through it.The only part I read seriously is the cartoon section in the end.Well during exam I used to read the 'Horoscope section' too. But they were never helpful.

10:45 AM-
Start flipping through MtV,zoom- isko dekho while my mothers voice drowned the songs with her " First you get up late.Instead of taking bath doing puja or eating breakfast you have to go watch half naked gals dance around trees..raama raama..".

11:00 AM-
The pleasant honeymoon with TV and the semi-naked gals ends as Mom again launches into war of words this time a good measure of aunt and my grandparents thrown in for support.The lone warrior that I am is unperturbed by this volley of chaste remarks on my "lifestyle" as I refuse to bulge from the sofa untill I realise something and I run behind mom and start begging..for coffee. After the brew is in. my day begins!




after 12:00 PM-
Baaki ka time( yeah I still manage to have some more time)

Switch on the comp!
Staring out of the window.
Checking out the gal in the neighbouring house through the window.
Ok I don't do that.REALLY!
Net
Reading a novel
Staring out of the window.
Checking out the of the girl in the neigbouring house through the window.
Wait! thats her father!!
Oops!!
more Net, explaining to arun what I did alday
Messaging my friends!
'Yo wasup!!'
'Hey ther'
'Heloo'
Yeah rarely I do get a reply!
and more Net.

1.30 AM -

And then its time to sleep again!

this was kinda spooky :D

Vishnuvardhan is a kannada actor who died today morning
I promise I hadn't saved such a name in my contacts!!

Scarred to death

Taking a long puff off his beedi he blows the unholy smoke into the winter night.As the smoke clears, he sees a dark silhouette approaching him.Clad in a black saree,the pallu covering her head.Her beautiful face hidden in the darkness and the shadow of the looming trees lining the street.
Stomping the beedi under his shoes he walks towards her with a eerie confidence which detered her. He had approached the same way then and she had loved it.Her heart starts beating wildly as he closes in.Just like it had then. He stares at her as the wind blows her saree revealing her milky white waist.She could see the hunger in his eyes as he looked at her body.The calmness outside was contrats to the screams of her past.The screaming thoughts in her head were starting to build up with each second under his lecherous gaze. Then in one swift motion she pulls out the gun,points it at his heart. She could hear his heart pound or was it hers? Then she pulls the trigger and watches, as the bullet rips through his heart.She thought she knew the love he felt.She was wrong. Now she knew the pain he would feel.She was right this time .The sound of the shot merged with the scream and it echoed into the night.Just like it had when he had splashed the burning acid on her beautiful face.As she had cried in pain, he had sneered.Now falling down, he cought the last glimpse of her scarred face as the pallu finally gave way to the rushing cold wind. She sneered and walked off.Then she had wanted to share all the happiness with him and now she had shared her pain!

P.s: fiction listening to 'give unto me' by evanesence.

New Year conversations:

me: so its 2010.atleast get a gf this year maga. Or planning to just get married? ;)
Abhinav: Pinda! 6 more months maga and juniors will come, can patao some one. ;)
Abhinav: oh! wait thats not gonna happen! damn!! **another plan flops***



me: Yo happy new year mr i-love-nitk
Abhishek: laughing and crying at the same time.Nostalgic about the last 'new year celebration' in NITK.'**hick** bottoms up entire bottle and then grabs another. 'buzy with fest dude'.



me: hey wats new 4 new year?
Aparna: I lovee Avril! she has such a fair skin...spotless.god! awesome! i just lovvee her.
Me : uh ok!yeah superb voice...so what plans for new year?
Aparna: Its complicated!
Me: oh y? wat hapnd?
Aparna: thats my fav. Avril song u dummo!
me: :|




me: tweets- happy new year evry1!!!
Arun: tweets- hurrayy!!! RT @ijackinjosh 2010 spl: new ifone hack makes music on ur ifone audible!




me:so wats ur new year resolution?
Pallavi: hahahahaahahahaahahaaa hahahahahahahaa new year resolution? hahahahaa hahahahahahaha :D
me: that wasn't a joke!
Pallavi: oh!




me: Hey pondi trip in 2nd week of jan..wat say?
Preetham: nothing.Am not coming anywher.
Me: ok! u may want to 'GO' somewher na ;) u knw ';);););)'
Pretham: Appolo done, BMH done, Colambia asia...umm...nice...




me: happy new year dude.
me: wat plans/resoutions?
me: heloo
me: kahan mar gaya saale??
me: knock knock!
me: BUZZ!
Shubhendu: Kem cho baby? mera garma garam dhokla bahut swaadish che want some? ;)
me: what?
Shubendu: sory nt for u!




me: yo jackass! happy new year!
Vivek: wat new year? phati padi he BC!
me: why what happnd?
Vivek: I talked to her for 3 hours yest nite! I think I love her!
me: yeah I know that you told me about madhu 2 weeks back, whats new?
Vivek: saale am talkin abt sonia not madhu!
me: F*ck U!!!


P.S: not really.. ;)

20 Things you may not know!

1) I use shortforms for a word if I don't know the correct spling.

2) I once recorded my 'singing' with some background music. It sounded just like Tom when his tail gets trapped in a mouse trap he set for Jerry..but with the same background music.

3) I get realy weird dreams at night!I mean it.WEIRD! Last night I cured some dangerous disease( I can't recall what) by doing something( I can't recall that either) by opening the pressure cooker in 1 particular angle( again I can't recall the measure of that angle)!! I felt AWESOME untill the buzzing mosquito spoiled it!SORRY I COULDN'T SAVE HUMANITY with the help of a pressure cooker.I will try again tonight.

4) In any conversation, I do tend to take the 'OTHER' meaning and have "eeeheehehehehehe" in my head!

5) I am a SRK fan.Most of my friends HATE him! And I love to piss them off! :P (sadistic pleasure)

6) I don't watch any horror movies.And thats's because they are not scary!

7) I had to wack my brain hard to come up with the 7th point and I thought 7 is fav/lucky no.

8) I don't know why I do these 20 things. And why the hell 20?

9) I love to do that sudden "BBOOoowwwaaaahahhhhaaa" to scare people when its dark.

10) Please don't try the above trick on me!

11) I love driving at 5-10 kms/hr.Till I realised it wasn't really funny or cool! :|

12) Even at 5-10 kms/hr... there will be a cool background music playing in my head just like in the movies..yeah I took the slo-mo too seriously!

13) I fuckin use the fuckin f word when am fuckin frustrated.Other times I censor it like this-- F*ck!

14) I love curly hairs.NO not the pubic hair!

15) I think Twilight is lame! Vampires should look scary and suck blood not climb trees with a stupid gal on your back like a female monkey and its baby!!

16) Farmville --- seriously WTF?

17) She has a awesome smile,beautiful eyes, great curves and curls.YES! Finally I admit, I LOVE HER!

18) Do not click on the above link and DROOOL!! SHE IS MINE!! ;)

19) Lately, I dont care about somethings which used to bother me a lot before!

20) But please do leave a comment ;)

palm reading

'I'(to the Palm reader): "What could I be in life?"

Palm reader *reading my palm, switching from left to right hand* says: "The left is what the gods give you, the right is what you do with it."

'I'(wonder in my head): well then no need of reading..I know am screwed...coz I use my god given left hand to clean my a** and right to j**k off!



Random thought while reading the book "keep off the grass" by Karan Bajaj

This is kinda realy very very SAD!! seriously screw VTU!! :| :( :P

P.S: This was at around 10.30 - 10.45 pm and thats like the PRIMETIME!!

Sin

She was new and he had had many before her.Unlike me.He removed the surprisingly bigger dress she was in with ease.My heart pumped harder as his fingers played on her smooth and such a fair skin.I look at him holding her close to his lips and my lusty eyes can see the glow in her face from the distance as he kisses her.I ogle on as she heats up the chilly night. He notices my longing eyes prying on her slender body and with a smug offers me to her. The guy is a pig I think but I thank him for giving me a chance to have her.With a sinfull desire I pull her close to me.She doesn't raise an objection, the bitch was burning with desire.And I take her.And after what felt heavenly, I pull apart with a sense of fullfilment and let out a sigh.The otherwise clear night gets clouded around us as we indulge in what would disgust many.Suddenly he grabbed her back ..away from me..as I stared my mouth open, half in shock and half in lust for more. He said something that hurt me.."Ela neene mugstya? let me have a Puff too dude..this is the last one".






Note: THIS IS PURELY A WORK OF FICTION and random IMAGINATION.Any resemblance to person,ciggy living or butted out is purely coincidental.


WARNING! :SMOKING KILLS!! umm but...Well...nevermind! ;)

20 things Arun tweets or rather RT.

1) Iam f*ing #notstudying #belive me!!
2) Sabi is a NC (Nerdy Ch**t). He slogs till 2 AM.
3) I love @ihackinjosh and @mashable chk this http://bit.ly/Imagaygeek
4) Most popular tweeter in India y'day @chetan_bhagat .Most popular retweeter in India y’day @Arunmohancr beat this #suckers ;) ;)
5) I love RT. REALLY
6) RT @Arunmohancr I love RT. REALLY >> I mean it.
7) Sabi @abhi2603 studies more than me.
8) RT @abhi2603 don’t lie moru... v know u study much more than I do >>> F*ck u NC!!
9) @pixr what you laughing about? Shut up! So what did u do alday ;)
10) Haven’t studied a thing for morrow. Will get screwed ;)
11) @abhi2603 watver.I hardly touched the book for 2 hours.
12) RT @ihackinjosh I am gay
13) WELL I AM NOT!! I RTed that by mistake. RT @Arunmohancr RT @ihackinjosh I am gay.
14) Checking out the new RT feature. So I can RT more. Can I do any more RT ;)
15) I love steve jobs and also other jobs. you knw.
16) I am famous for my Obituary tweets: famous ones are: MJ dies, Piratebay is no more.XYZ..blah blah dies... RIP.
17) Friends follow me here http://bit.ly/8MCrsA.
18) RT @Arunmohancr Friends follow me here http://bit.ly/8MCrsA.. >>>spammers too can follow.
19) RT @Arunmohancr Iam f*ing #notstudying #belive me!! I am playing top gear.
20) YAWN...m off for a much needed long and deep sleep..
10:26 PM Dec 9th from Twitterrific

**Then slog all night**

Stuffs to do when at home on a very long holiday.

1) Wake up at noon , make plans for the rest of the day, go back to sleep. Hibernate like grisly bears but look cute as a teddy bear ;)

2) Watch a group of elderly ladies do exercise in the park. It’s a cheaper version of those “health shows” on TV. The aah’s,ooo’s and the movement of other body parts are kinda fun in a sick way.

3) Pair your friends with some gal. Talk about it all the time. Don’t give up inspite of his repeated denials. Keep at it so much so that your friend actually starts to think “ya I guess you are right.. I love her”. Then watch the fun unfold! :D

4) Go to a park take your camera along and click photos of the beautiful nature. Hmm.. if only you could FOCUS on one thing ;)

5) Have a booz party at the house of a relative of your friend. Get high on booz but still make it very clear to everyone that you are not high and then dance to “prem ki nayya”, do the mirror and rope steps and boast “am so good at this”. CAUTION:THIS IS FUN BUT IS VERY PAINFUL on the eyes of those watchin you.MIND IT.

6) Make an elaborate plan for a vacation to far off place and then discuss how it’s not possible.

7) Call/Message your friends and lure them into bunking their college so that you can all hang out.And when you do,never discuss attendance it wil hurt your friend.

8) After reading this post, the above trick might not work.

9) Build your body, yeah even the tummy will do!

10) Try out ways to end your long holiday. It’s so long ’m running out of ideas now.

11) Read books, watch movies,listen to music.Rent, borrow or download.

12) >>> A LUCKY* WINNER* GETS TO WRITE* THIS POINT* <<< *Conditions Apply.

13) Stare into the dark sky at night and wonder why do girls never mind when their girl friends are all "muuaahh love u baby hugs.. ♥ uuuu" but the moment you try those on them,they go "dude stop it!"

14)Sit with your little cousin and watch 2 dragon flies hover around and then roll your eyes ,pretend to be surprised and say ‘double-decker helicofter’ when the two decide to mate mid-air!

15)Don’t sit with your little cousin and watch your neighbours. That would be really sick and may spoil the kid because there can’t be a double-decker aunty/uncle!

16) Shave your head, dance stupidly with your friend’s GF then ride piggy back on your friend and call him ‘Paa’ .

17) Take loads of facebook quizzes; say "OMG its sooo truee :D " when the result is what you like it to be, frown and call the quiz stupid and ridiculous if you don’t like the result OR open fortune cookies which are sometimes really unfortunate. TIMEPASS!!

18) Reply to questions like “what did you do all day” from your friends with “FU* K U!! SCRE# U A$$HOLE!! DON’T EVER ASK ME THAT QUESTION AGAIN! DO U GET IT U FUC*in PRICK? so wat did u do all day? :)"


19) THiNK a lot, smile ear to ear , dance like no one is watching, love deeply, cry silently ,laugh out loud, eat loads of pills. Oops I did it again! ;)

20-twenty , ODI or tests SACHIN is GOD! :)

In fond memory of 'matre' Mama

In the context of Mama's love for PILLS/Tablets/Matre and his refusal to come and hangout anywhere with his friends fom the past few days/months.



1)Favorite Quote:
Some pills fail, but don't lose heart just wait for the right one
because God has arranged for a perfect PILL for you somewhere.

2)Favourite movie Dialog:
"Arre ooo Saambha... kitne Pills the?? "

3)General Telephonic conversation:

a)Hello.. *GRUNT* *GRUNT* *GRRR*
b)Helo... Iam not coming!!!!
c)uumm... no wont come.
d).... I can't come...
e) I will eat t*b**ts if you don't come!!! Iam serious!!

4)The above short conversations proves 1 thing:
His Phone pill will be pretty low. :P

5)Favourite food:
Gobi 65,pill 55,Butter Naan,Butter kulcha,pills,Butter pills?

6)Favourite passtime:
SHopping for pills in drug stores with "50% OFF sale on DOLO and PARACETAMOL" boards


7)Favourite movies:
Pill wale dulhaniya le jayenge ;)
Kabhi Dolo Kabhi paracetamol
Pill Se
Pill De Basanti
Tablets Zameen par
Pills ( yet to be released madhur bandharkar movie)

8)Favourite Song:
Dolo (650) re dolo(650) re from DEVDAS !! (Only some people will get this joke)

9)In my room you will find:
Me, My computer, books and my table(ts)

10)When young,used to throw tantrums at friends:
"we will only play popping the pills.. otherwise I WONT COME"!!

11)Movie watched on a recent date:
Pill bole hodiyappa

12)Dreamgal: Come, lets run away and get married my love <3 :)
He: I am NOT COMING ANYWHERRR!!!!!!!!

13)Favourite Jeffrey archer book:
Not a pill more, not a pill less

14)Favourite romantic Novel of all time:
A Pill to remember

15)Currently reading:
Some random book on Pill-o-sphy

16)Favorite Patriotic Qoute:
'TUM MUJHE PILL DO..MEIN TUMHE AZADI DOONGA'

17)LKG-UKG days:
A for Apple, B for Balls,....T for tablets..Z for zzzzz...

18)My idea of a perfect date:
Me and my dream gal on a candle light dinner at a pool side table(T)

19)A NONVEG JOKE:
One thing heard frequently by pakkadmane (neighbours) at night after his marriage:
"I am not cuming .. I am not cuming.... I think.. I need a PILL ;)"

20)When saying goodbye to loved ones:
Hum he raahi pyaar ke, Pill milenge chalte chalte..*Geeeee :D*

?????

When I was growing up I had lots of questions. ARE WE THERE YET? WHY DOES MOON HAVE DARK SPOTS? WHY DO STARS SHINE? ARE WE THERE YET? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY @#$#$%? WHY DOES MY HEART BEAT FASTER WHEN I SEE HER? These questions continue to this day but the questions themselves are not clear and are more of a confusion . Only the question marks “???” at the end are more profound.

To be happy or sad???
Now that I'm full time home waiting for my 'work' part of life to start, these realizations haunt me. My buddy tells me to enjoy the holidays while it lasts. But the uncertainty of the ending of this supposed ‘bliss time' makes it hard to enjoy or sulk for that matter. Uncertainty rules my life. I am always uncertain and this leaves a lot of questions in my head. Should I be happily 'enjoying' the holidays or feel sad because it will end 'someday' which I am waiting for in the 1st place!

To be jealous or not to be?????
I can't bunk college! I can't go watch a movie 1st day 1st show! Should I be jealous of my other friends or not. I can’t Bunk classes and talk crap under a tree or play games which we used to play in school ( sabi is doing it a lot these days).Can’t make a long unplanned trip! My lecturers still advice me " allu heege irbeda"( don't be like the way you were in college at your workplace) , "become serious at least there ram!!". Thing is , I don't want to change, always believed that behaving and discipline is for the old and the ARMY! Age catches up I guess! But then again, I can be Independent!!

To be nice or not to be????
"sure no problem"( really??? ) Do I have to agree to everything my peers wish? Why don't I ever say no???? Is it the need to be "accepted as a good guy" or what? Why can't I be not nice and say NO to the "requests" people make when at the back of my mind I least care????
Or is that I am too much of a 'help all buddha' ( baad mein apne gaand mein danda! that rhymes ;) ) Quite a few of my deeds have ended up in me suffering soon after, which is always because of the supposed help I gave to that selfish someone. Or is it too much to expect back anything! Will I be bad if I am not nice? Will I be any good if I am nice????

Even after 100s of Facebook quizzes telling me everything from what I was in my past birth" to the "true personality test" I am no way close to figuring out myself! Getting stuck trying to choose from a simple T-shirt to the deeper questions in life, I am pretty much confused in almost everything! Do I shoo away the cute little pup peeing on my gate or not? Should I let go the poor little kid trying to steal my old cycle which I don’t use anymore or not???? If there’s a great chance that the risk will ruin my life, should I take it? It may make my life. Should I really think so much or not???? What the hell am I thinking about exactly???? Should I crack a PJ at this stage to make the whole post seem funny or not?? Will you really laugh at it or not??? BTW do I even make good PJs or not????????? HELP!

And so the questions and confusion continues…
ARE WE THERE YET??
Not yet...

King v/s King

Can you piss off the King of Goodtimes? well King K(h)an!
Take a look at the (fake/real disputed) Vijay Mallya's tweets from during the IPL season 2.
Makes a Fun read though! :)


Hey someone told me about some blogger-player from the knightriders bitching.. I think its srk himself.. publicity masterstroke, man!
12:35 PM May 1st from web

i have a theory baout kolkata knight riders
2:47 PM May 4th from web

if you bet on a good side and it loses a couple of times, you keep the bet on thnking that it'll eventually pay off..
2:47 PM May 4th from web

that's the case with kkr.. you keep thinking it'll manage to recover but it never does.. and even thoug
2:48 PM May 4th from web

even though they're horrible in every single match the match ALWAYS manages to go down to the last ball.. or at least the very last over..
2:48 PM May 4th from web

how can they all be cliffhangers? every match? I think it's marketing genius.. captain drama, dada drama, srk's hand, fake blogger..
2:50 PM May 4th from web

and now a team which just CANT win.. but still manages to bring the match to the last ball.
2:50 PM May 4th from web

so even though they're bottom of the league.. kkr is still the ONLY team people are talking about.. they even took Joker tag away from us..
2:52 PM May 4th from web

what do you all think?
2:53 PM May 4th from web

it's just a theory I've been thinking about for a while now.. wanted to share with you guys.. anyway glad kkr makes rest of us look good.
2:54 PM May 4th from web

@AaruC haha.. good good.. lots of people laughing about sRK.. but I think he's laughing to the bank.. his team makes money, ours don't..
2:57 PM May 4th from web in reply to AaruC

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Sent shahrukh a lifetime's supply of kingfisher.. HAHAHAHAHAHA last night was fantastic HAHAHAHA
12:31 PM May 13th from web

Dammit.. Khan just sent me a message on my phone saying 'njoy. Bangalore are the new Kolkata.' $%^&*()!!
10:39 PM May 21st from web



lol!

Sunshine

Sunshine! It always bought up a smile on his face when he saw one. And with the smile came memories. Memories of a little Sunshine. She was 8, a year younger than he was. Even then, like now, he couldn’t define love, but he did feel one. They couldn't be separated from each other since they were 3; much to the envy of the other kids they did everything together. They were made for each other. He & little sunshine. The rest of the whole world was plain boring and they wouldn’t be bothered or cared about except for may be sunshine's parents. He didn’t care much about his.
They were the best of friends, inseparable, attached like no other could. Not like they didn’t disagree, they did disagree and fought on a lot of things, ranging from the color of her frock (which was pink and he thought it was YUCK!!), to the shape of the clouds .He thought the cloud looked like big fire breathing wing spread dragon (she thought it was a shapeless mass of cloud). But this disagreement didn't stop him from taking her to the cliff side on a sunny and yet a rainy day. She hadn't believed him the last time when he told her how spectacular the rainbow looks from the top, so he just wanted to show her this time. And they ran, fell and again ran in the muddy path leading to the cliff. Panting and wet both of them were awestruck at the sheer beauty arching its way through the clouds to a point far away on both sides. The look on her face was worth it. She leapt in joy clapping as if it they were in a rock concert. She ran to the edge of the cliff. Her wet frock fluttered slightly in the wind. Her wet hair ran widely like snakes on her shoulder. she opened up her arms as if trying to reach out and hug the beautiful view in front of her. "Its sooo beautiful.. I love u " she yelped and turned around. That was the last instant he caught her beautiful eyes.. Happy and lovely like it always was. And then her body jerked backward and down the cliff. Horrified he ran, not towards the cliff but away, he ran, his tears mixed with the waters from the heaven. Reached up to their favorite place, the tree house outside his house and climbed in and locked himself. He could feel her here. Her favorite painting of a big yellow frog with a big dirty mustache (even though it didn’t really look like a frog but which she claimed 1 day would be kept next to the Mona Lisa) was taped on the wooden wall. Her hair clip was lying in a corner next to a box of old stale cookies.
To this day it was the same. Years had passed.
Looking out of his bedroom window at their tree house, which had still looked fresh almost 70 years after, he felt a weird sensation rip through his body as the sharp rays of the morning sunshine hit his pale white skin. This sunshine was different it was coupled by a dark shapeless mass of clouds and a drizzle. And taking out his old reliable walking stick he walked, ran.. started to pant.. and so walked again.. and then ran.. to the edge of the cliff. He was alone this time but he was wet just the same. Throwing away the stick he yelped in joy, though it sounded more like a groan and was accompanied by a fit of coughs. Nonetheless spreading out his arms he felt the same joy he had seen in her eyes. And he savored the beauty around. As a tears trickled down his eyes.He turned around and peered at the sunshine. It was bright, he flickered his eyes, and slowly the bright light filled his eyes. The warmth filled his heart as he spoke "I love you too Sunshine" and then, just like that, everything went dark, and he collapsed into the shadows of the cliff.

swine flu

SWINE FLU SWINE FLU!!! *PANIC* :D

loss in fiction

The moan of the thunder lights the skies,
Her sharp gaze blinds my eyes!
all dryness inside wets the surroundings,
and a smile on her face plays rhythm on my heartstrings!
while the eagle's claw dig into a kangaroo's pouch,
reminds me of her sweet voice, last of which I heard, was in march!
a evil snake’s curled up straight along the highway’
her hair so soft, none of which for me anymore are they?
A mighty volcanic eruption makes snow in the bathroom’
While his hand wraps her so close as they dance together in the ballroom!
A sex starved fish peeps through the glass bowl at the mistress
today as she is gone ,everything is lost, my sweetness!
The sick gorilla winks back at you as it eats rotten mustard,
I hate his guts and the kisses that he gets, the lucky bastard!
In the headlines : a rabbit caught smoking marijuana under the sunlight
it all comes back to me, as finally the darkness wins over the dim light
confused? thats me!

The connversation

HE: Heloo my dear!

SHE: Who are you?

HE: myself, your well wisher… Can we b Frands?

SHE: sorry do I know you?

He: no, I’m quite famous in my "vatara" but you don't know me!

SHE: so who are you?

HE: Janardhana Shetty K.S

SHE: oh k!

HE: Can we be frands?? You know like boyfrand and galfrand!

SHE: Huh!! I don't even know you!!

HE: I told na… I am Janardhan Shetty. I’m very sexy!

SHE: so?

HE: I swim in a pond near my village so I have very sexy body when I see in mirror I look exactly like Angelina Jolie but like male Angelina Jolie.

SHE: sorry! I don't want to be your friend. And don't message me anymore.

HE: "Don't you wish your boyfrand was hot like me"? don't cha?
I know, I steal that from pussycat dolls, they are my fav. band you see!! But it is very true for me. I and my frands Madappa, Lingswamy,Teppana and Gopi danced for that song on stage during our village 'jaatre'.

SHE: *no reply*

HE: I know after hearing about my sexiness you will want to know more. I have karate purple belt. I can protect you from evils of the society..I regularly do practice with my 10 year old cushion chikku( my aunty's male son) ! Also my mother makes me drink buffalo's milk ( female buffalo) daily so I’m very straang!!

SHE: stop messaging me. I don't want to talk to u!

HE: hey my dear. You are so shy. I knew you would like me. Its all Amma Ghajagamini's krupe !! You finally fell for me!! Now even I’m shying and I have turned pink. But you cannot notice, because I got lots of pubic hairs on my face!

SHE: **** ( who the hell is Amma Ghajagamini?? )

HE: You know I have a picture of you in my bedroom, my hole( big one.. many people can come and go) and also kitchen and bathroom so I can see you all the times.. I put fresh flowers on it daily.. It has you in chaddi!! You look so naaicee.. eeheeheeheeeheee I’m blushing just saying this !!

SHE: you are a sicko!! How did you get my photo? ( F@$kin Bastard!!)

HE: Aiyo.. Amma Ghajagamini blesses me! I am not sick. I am 1st class fine! I will send a apology letter for this because I took it without your permission. I was passing near your house with my dog kunda Jonny (he is blind in 1 eye) and when you were not looking at my sexy body I took it!! I did it very fast!! I am super fast photographer you know!! But it is very blur. But I can manage!

SHE: you know my house??!! ( mummy!! )

HE: yes!! I always come in front of your house! And make my kunda jonny pee in front of your house so that I can look at you and you can look at me. But I can't look properly because I have Jogi hairstyle..so I will change tomorrow to Ghajini hairstyle.. Its a surprisee for you!! :D

SHE: whatever I don't care! Goodbye don't message me! ( oh my god! who is this jerk!! ewwwwwwwwwww )

He: oh so you want to meet me? I knew you couldn't resist my temptation and want to meet me for real.! Its all Amma Ghajagamini's krupe.. also my parents blessing. Yours and my 1st love is blossoming!! Ok my dear. I will meet you in 5 minutes. I will be wearing pink shorts( my fathers gift on my 14th birthday) its a bit tight now and some of my body parts are not comfortable in it but my mother says I look like Katrina Kaif in 'jee karda' song (male version of katrina kaif... Im veryyy sexy) ! And yellow 'reeepok' shirt! Its original! Made in Bhutan! Imported shirt you know :)

SHE: U F%*kin jerk! Get lost! don;t even dare come near my house!! OR message ME!! OK!!! just F%*k OFF!!!

HE:hahaha BAKRA!!! :D Its .......!!



Note: This is 99.9% real conversation :D

Why you are here

Fly HIGH!!

In a dark dingy bar, I perch on a round stool holding a drink in my hands. And I have this conversation.
Me: I can fly… So... I am a fly.
Yeah! I am a fly!But I am also stupid. I am a stupid fly.
I am a stupid fly.And I even eat shit .So I must be a shit eating stupid fly.
Hmmm...I am a shit eating stupid fly .I am so fucked up. Well then I am a fucked up shit eating stupid fly.
I am a fucked up shit eating stupid fly .I’ll soon die.Then I’ll be a dead fucked up shit eating stupid fly.Thats right!!
So what are you?
An Eskimo?
Or are you a mug of Beer?huh!
well then...hmmm!
Jeez!! Don't tell me you are a cup of Horlicks? Hahahahaaaaha!!
Or are you a shot of Tequila? vooo!
Ummmm I know!! yeaaa!!! You must be Superman!!

*HICK*

Oh yeah! By the way I am also DRUNK!!