I am Ram's Blog .I live in the Web(like you, mr or miss netizen) and my friends call me Spiderwoman. But considering that I don't have any friends, I don't think any one calls me that.
Today, I'm going to share with you what has been burning inside me for a long time now. I am so frustrated! Please be my 'agony aunt' !!
I don't know where to begin.RAM!!! The ultra irritating owner of this blog. How do you bare him??
The weird list on the right side called 'buddy blogs' is full of blogs like me who are bored, dazed and abused. I got this 'quote curry' space where lines lifted off from other places are shamelessly stamped on me. Now don't even get me started on the 'weekly status message' I mean who cares a damn what the F*** he does the whole week?? And then he has this 'music to the ears', the thing which he thinks would entertain me. Blah! Its playing the same song for decades now!! It doesn't even have a simple playlist!!
In fact he is not the only problem .Even you!! Why???
Sigh!! How people get busy. I keep trying to make myself more appealing by adding new technology,photos of dead guys or drinks and other stuff but its of little use. Some times I am even tempted to put up a hot bikini just so that you could look at me a little longer. But alas! I am just a software and I won't look hot in a bikini so I ditched the Idea. You don't know how NOT being ogled at, with disbelieving eyes feels like. No you don't.
I always wanted to be a famous blog, like my cousin, the lucky bastard he ended up being Aamir Khan's blog while I am stuck here with this moron who derives immense happiness by writing crappy material on me which no one reads. After everything I've done for this guy, what do I got in return? Some bullshit about him being 50% male and 50% female based on his browser cache? And what the hell was that nonsense about him being '18 till he dies' and what was it anyways, a ridiculous rap , hip hop or a nursery rhyme?
All I wanted was to be a good blog with many readers. I'm tired of being referred to as "Pikku page". I mean, that name doesn't even sound cool, it sucks!!! For Google's sake, he doesn't even promote me, other than of course his 5 or 6 friends, some of whom are great people who write blogs just as badly as him and others, well they hardly talk to me.
BOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO :( !!
Anyways thanks for listening to me,
Whatever you do or don't, I love you loads!
yours forever,
I Blahg( see what I mean? )
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
SEX
I am an average GUY.
And the law of averages is probably going to be stuck with me forever!! The likelihood of me passing any exam is 50-50. And here is adding to the list of things which are 50-50 in my life.
I found this web application which tells the odds of you being a male or a female based on your browser cache. Cool, HUH?
My results were .... well 50-50 :|
Likelihood of you being FEMALE is 50%
Likelihood of you being MALE is 50%
hmmmmmmm....................
Well, check your "SEX" here.
Don't forget to post your results in the 'comments'. :)
And the law of averages is probably going to be stuck with me forever!! The likelihood of me passing any exam is 50-50. And here is adding to the list of things which are 50-50 in my life.
I found this web application which tells the odds of you being a male or a female based on your browser cache. Cool, HUH?
My results were .... well 50-50 :|
Likelihood of you being FEMALE is 50%
Likelihood of you being MALE is 50%
hmmmmmmm....................
Well, check your "SEX" here.
Don't forget to post your results in the 'comments'. :)
Friday, August 15, 2008
Freedom!
She hadn't received his calls the previous night. And he shifted, turned and rolled around on his bed, trying to get a sleep. But it was no use, and he sat up listening to KK's Khuda jaane. And listening to the wonderful song on repeat,he fell asleep. And it was 8.30 when he woke from his slumber.5 years back, on this day, he would have dressed in a neatly ironed uniform and marched past the dais which stood beside the NATIONAL FLAG. But today he had no time even to Brush and he started fiddling with the small keypad of his mobile and typed in ‘Happy independance day, Good Morning :) wassup??'. And sent it to her number.And he sat waiting for her reply and as sounds of bugles and drums and Patriotic songs blared in the loud speakers from the schools nearby.
She was dressed in a white salwar. She had bought it a couple of days back. She loved it the moment she laid her eyes upon it. Carefuly looking at the mirror she applied the dark mascara around her beautiful eyes. Looking quite satisfied in the mirror or rather a bit impressed she gave herself a naughty wink. She couldn't wait to meet him. She could already imagine the look on his face. She giggled to herself. She had purposefully avoided him the previous night. She knew he would be missing her .She liked that. As she was rushing to the dining table to eat her breakfast, her phone beeped twice. And the display glow "New message recieved". It was from him. and she replied "GM.,see you in the theater in an hour" She knew he wouldn't have remembered.
He had forgotten about the movie.Grabbing a towel, he rushed to the bathroom. The Suprabatham was playing on the old tape recorder in the other room .He was humming Khuda jaane as he scrubbed and washed his hair. Praying to god that he can make it in time for the movie.
She didn't like waiting. And grabbing the nearest T-shirt in his wardrobe,he smelled it and it smelled fine. Then taking his old pair of jeans he put it on. Took some cash from his Mom's purse and filled it inside the Wallet she had gifted him last month. And he rushed to the theater on his Bike. Stopping at annoying signals he finally made it. She wasn't there yet. And he sighed in relief.
The theater was buzzing with youngsters,single guys, gangs of girls and love lorn couples. He wondered, why was he still single??
She couldn't stop smiling ,she knew she had to do it. And she already loved the feeling. And she drove faster and finally reached the theater and she saw him. And sneaking quietly behind him she shrieked excitedly "Hiiii!!!"
He missed a heart beat! And recovering from the shock he turned back. She was dressed in a salwar, it was white his favorite. She had long flowing silky hair, just like he had liked. She was blushing and she looked cute. His heart missed a beat again.
As his heart raced, his face drained off any color.
The guy standing next to him hugged her and both of them left hand in hand. Her fingers between his.
He felt sick. “OMG even that lousy looking guy has such a pretty girlfriend!!".
As such varied emotions ran through his mind, the familiar yelling of his "friend" bought him back to reality. "Enjoying your FREEDOM huh?? Checking out other guy's girlfriend? Go get the tickets, you dummo!! I can't wait" she ranted off in her ever energetic voice.This was one freedom he did not mind losing!
"Yeah right, HAPPY INDEPENDANCE DAY TO YOU TOO" he snapped at her. And he joined the Que.
P.S: Happy Independance Day to you all!! :)
And do I have to tell you, that this was a fiction?
She was dressed in a white salwar. She had bought it a couple of days back. She loved it the moment she laid her eyes upon it. Carefuly looking at the mirror she applied the dark mascara around her beautiful eyes. Looking quite satisfied in the mirror or rather a bit impressed she gave herself a naughty wink. She couldn't wait to meet him. She could already imagine the look on his face. She giggled to herself. She had purposefully avoided him the previous night. She knew he would be missing her .She liked that. As she was rushing to the dining table to eat her breakfast, her phone beeped twice. And the display glow "New message recieved". It was from him. and she replied "GM.,see you in the theater in an hour" She knew he wouldn't have remembered.
He had forgotten about the movie.Grabbing a towel, he rushed to the bathroom. The Suprabatham was playing on the old tape recorder in the other room .He was humming Khuda jaane as he scrubbed and washed his hair. Praying to god that he can make it in time for the movie.
She didn't like waiting. And grabbing the nearest T-shirt in his wardrobe,he smelled it and it smelled fine. Then taking his old pair of jeans he put it on. Took some cash from his Mom's purse and filled it inside the Wallet she had gifted him last month. And he rushed to the theater on his Bike. Stopping at annoying signals he finally made it. She wasn't there yet. And he sighed in relief.
The theater was buzzing with youngsters,single guys, gangs of girls and love lorn couples. He wondered, why was he still single??
She couldn't stop smiling ,she knew she had to do it. And she already loved the feeling. And she drove faster and finally reached the theater and she saw him. And sneaking quietly behind him she shrieked excitedly "Hiiii!!!"
He missed a heart beat! And recovering from the shock he turned back. She was dressed in a salwar, it was white his favorite. She had long flowing silky hair, just like he had liked. She was blushing and she looked cute. His heart missed a beat again.
As his heart raced, his face drained off any color.
The guy standing next to him hugged her and both of them left hand in hand. Her fingers between his.
He felt sick. “OMG even that lousy looking guy has such a pretty girlfriend!!".
As such varied emotions ran through his mind, the familiar yelling of his "friend" bought him back to reality. "Enjoying your FREEDOM huh?? Checking out other guy's girlfriend? Go get the tickets, you dummo!! I can't wait" she ranted off in her ever energetic voice.This was one freedom he did not mind losing!
"Yeah right, HAPPY INDEPENDANCE DAY TO YOU TOO" he snapped at her. And he joined the Que.
P.S: Happy Independance Day to you all!! :)
And do I have to tell you, that this was a fiction?
Friday, August 1, 2008
18 till I die?
I could play in the sands
I was not looked down upon when I ate with no spoon just hands
I could play in the hot sun
I was the same age as my neighbors’ son
I could go to school without polishing my shoes and get wacked
I had a truckload of stamps in my cupboard neatly stacked
I could play a tree on a school day and get applause
I was all muddy and dirty but still was not called gross
I could sit on any park bench without blowing away the dust
I was punished by my teacher for coping in test and breaking her trust
I could get wet in the rain and have a wet cloth on my forehead the next day
I had to rush home from school and go to lousy tuitions everyday
I could watch cartoon network and pogo
I had great friends who also did the same and didn't think I was a freako
And then something happened and things changed,
I only see sands when I go to the beaches
I fumble with the spoons and spill, people around give weird looks and say Jesus!
I get tanned in the sun so I apply sunscreen and stay indoor!
I look at the neighboring kid play in the mud through my grilled door
I have to polish my shoes and be presentable or get sacked
I get transferred from city to city and I move with my things packed
I have a mustache and a beard which cover my jaws
I don't really like what I see in the mirror. I have my flaws.
I don't sit on a park bench alone, people may think I am a Moron
I get drunk in pubs and dream of becoming a liquor baron
I cover myself in plastic when it rains to protect my cloths which are precious
I often rush from college to meet my girlfriend before she can get ferocious
I stay late nights and just watch MTV or channel V
I have friends who are too busy as they drive around in their SUV.
I grew up, that's what happened!!
Shit happens!!
I was not looked down upon when I ate with no spoon just hands
I could play in the hot sun
I was the same age as my neighbors’ son
I could go to school without polishing my shoes and get wacked
I had a truckload of stamps in my cupboard neatly stacked
I could play a tree on a school day and get applause
I was all muddy and dirty but still was not called gross
I could sit on any park bench without blowing away the dust
I was punished by my teacher for coping in test and breaking her trust
I could get wet in the rain and have a wet cloth on my forehead the next day
I had to rush home from school and go to lousy tuitions everyday
I could watch cartoon network and pogo
I had great friends who also did the same and didn't think I was a freako
And then something happened and things changed,
I only see sands when I go to the beaches
I fumble with the spoons and spill, people around give weird looks and say Jesus!
I get tanned in the sun so I apply sunscreen and stay indoor!
I look at the neighboring kid play in the mud through my grilled door
I have to polish my shoes and be presentable or get sacked
I get transferred from city to city and I move with my things packed
I have a mustache and a beard which cover my jaws
I don't really like what I see in the mirror. I have my flaws.
I don't sit on a park bench alone, people may think I am a Moron
I get drunk in pubs and dream of becoming a liquor baron
I cover myself in plastic when it rains to protect my cloths which are precious
I often rush from college to meet my girlfriend before she can get ferocious
I stay late nights and just watch MTV or channel V
I have friends who are too busy as they drive around in their SUV.
I grew up, that's what happened!!
Shit happens!!
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